Tom Brady Insists Divorce From Gisele Is a ‘Very Amicable Situation’

The godless Tom Brady has spoken.

In his first interview since the quarterback and Gisele Bündchen finalized their divorce on Friday, Brady admitted his personal romantic woes have spilled onto the football field. This is shocking news since, between throwing a “f-bombing hissy fit” while losing to the Steelers in October and having a tablet-tossing temper tantrum in a victory over the Saints in September, it definitely seemed like he had things totally under control while his 13-year marriage fell apart. Glad he cleared that up for us.

During Tuesday’s episode of the SiriusXM podcast Let’s Go! with Tom Brady, Larry Fitzgerald and Jim Gray, Brady spoke with co-host Gray about his newly minted ex-wife and why the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the team he leads, have been sucking so much ass after last year’s playoff run.

After Gray roasts Brady for going 3-5 with two games under .500—both of which he’s never before done in his career, he prods his co-host about the dreaded (for him, not for us) split. “Tommy, there’s an awful lot going on in your life away from the football field,” Gray says, and we’re just going to ignore the strange babying with “Tommy.” “You’re a very public figure and your personal life spills over. It’s created, I’m sure, a number of challenges for you this season.”

Here’s Brady’s response:

“Yeah, Jim, you know, I think there’s a lot of professionals in life that go through things that they deal with at work and they deal with at home. Obviously the good news is it’s a very amicable situation and I’m really focused on two things, taking care of my family and certainly my children and, secondly, doing the best job I can to win football games. So that’s what professionals do. You focus at work when it’s time to work, and then when you come home you focus on the priorities that are at home. All you can do is the best you could do. That’s what I’ll just continue to do as long as I’m working and as long as I’m being a dad.”

“Is there a challenge compartmentalizing between the two?” Gray asked. Brady continued:

“Well, I think that’s what being a professional is. I’ve dealt with a lot of challenging situations on and off the field over 23 years, and a lot of it does play out in front of a lot of people. So it’s, I think the interesting thing for a football player, or an athlete in general, is, you know, you’re out there, I always say we’re not actors. Even though we’re on TV, you know, that is our real self out there. We’re trying to do our best. That’s how people really have gotten to know me over the years, by being on TV. And that is an authentic self that’s out there to compete with my teammates every day…I want to be a great father to my children and always try to do things the right way as well. And to deal with things in your life that have challenges, you wanna deal with them in the best possible way. So I want to always be able to hold my head high on and off the field, and I’m gonna try to continue to do that for as long as I’m here.”

Tom, maybe you’re not seeing what I’m seeing, but I think your ability to compartmentalize is precisely the reason your relationship with international supermodel and entrepreneur and activist Gisele didn’t work. You simply forgot about her while you were playing the game of football, and as a former athlete, I get it: Sometimes you’ve gotta dissociate to get your head in the game, like Corbin Bleu sang that one time in High School Musical. But when you play the game all the time—always on the road, always reviewing game tape, always conducting press conferences—then you’re dissociating all the time. And that means you also don’t hear your ex-wife when she asked over, and over, and over again for you to quit being a player and quit compartmentalizing your personal life.

Now, it seems Brady is no longer compartmentalizing his paternal responsibilities, but his emotional distress, which is also untenable and clearly not working. You don’t have to store your sadness in a little box, Tom! Instead, be like Gisele, who People reports is “settling in” to a life on her own just fine.