Yesterday, Ellie Kemper apologized for her participation in the Veiled Prophet’s Ball—St. Louis’s racist debutante exercise of dressing up grown men in costumes and parading teen girls in front of them, all in the name of tradition. Her apology was good—great, even, for a celebrity apology. And now, her Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt friend Tituss Burgess has something to say.
He’s sticking by her side, per Page Six, and said that she’s “doing well.” He also said this: “We’re going to leave it at that... My Ellie is doing wonderful. Ellie’s great.” That’s what friends are for, per the song, and that’s what Tituss is to Ellie—a good friend who will defend in the press while also sneaking in some pertinent information about himself. (Though some may find this move reprehensible, I, for one, do not. Get in where you fit in, sir.) From Page Six:
A noticeably slimmer Burgess, who revealed that during lockdown he “hired a trainer and I also hired a plastic surgeon,” performed on Monday night at the Roundabout Theater Company’s 2021 gala at the Rumsey Playfield in Central Park.
Fellow “Kimmy Schmidt” star Jane Krakowski headlined the show but Burgess wowed the well-heeled crowd, which included Alec Baldwin and Vanessa Williams, with his spine-tingling performance of the Barbra Streisand classic “People.”
“Holy s–tballs, that was amazing,” Krakowski exclaimed after the rendition.
Oh, if you want to know what he said about the Kemper situation, it is basically that he reposted her apology and wrote “I love my Ellie, Oh, & P.S. Next time, just ask me, I’ll tell ya what to do.” Honestly, it’s very kind of him to offer his assistance in an attempted racism cancelation. We should all be so lucky to have a friend like Tituss Burgess, and I believe I mean that with sincerity. [Page Six]
You know Britney Spears has done something right if Page Six picked up whatever she deigns to share. This time, it’s two photos of her dressed in a snake print catsuit. The caption is good and deserves to be seen by one and all.
I held a snake at the @VMAs one time but decided to go ahead 20 years later and become the motherfucking snake myself 🐍🐍🐍 !!!! And since TRICKS ARE FOR KIDS you tricky little shits … who knows what color snake I will be tomorrow 😳🤔😏 !!!!??? STAY SAFE folks and watch out for the 🐍🐍🐍🤭🤭🤭 !!!!!
Listen!!! She did hold a snake that one time, and now, she IS the motherfucking snake. I have no other way of interpreting this other than the literal, but that hasn’t stopped the conspiracy theorists in her Instagram comments from freaking out as if this is yet another coded message from their Queen Mother. Truthfully, after studying her posts with some dedication, I feel confident that this is Britney, bitch. If I were Britney Spears, a formerly-very-famous pop star locked in a messy conservatorshop battle with Papa, and I knew that there were a bajillion people who had concocted their very own narrative about MY life, I’d fuck with them, too. [Instagram]
- Sorry, I’m not trying to be rude, but who is this? [Page Six]
- Maybe Shailene Woodley and Aaron Rodgers have the kind of love that will last a lifetime, and I am just a Grumplestiltskin but…. [People]
- Caroline Manzo said “If you’re gonna mess with my family, you’re messing with me,” and ya know, she does stick to her word. [Us Weekly]