Tiffany Haddish was profiled by Caity Weaver in GQ on Monday. They went whale watching together and talked about an unnamed actress biting Beyoncé “in the face.” That’s all you really need to know, I think? So just click this link and get the hell out of here now? Or keep reading! I understand that I can’t make you love me if you don’t.
In the middle of the piece—after Weaver describes Haddish’s voice as “the auditory equivalent of a palliative scalp massage” and Haddish explains how she got the Girl’s Trip part—we revisit a story already known far and wide: Haddish met Beyoncé at a party in December. We thought we knew all about this (remember the part about Beyoncé getting mad at an unnamed woman for flirting with Jay Z?), but we didn’t know this:
“There was this actress there,” continues Haddish, keeping her voice low, “that’s just, like, doing the mostest.” One of the most things she did? “She bit Beyoncé in the face.”
Haddish declines to name the actress.
Later that night, wrecked with anguish over what she saw, Haddish tapped Beyoncé and asked for details.
“Near the end of the party,” says Haddish, describing her final run-in with Mrs. Carter sometime later, “Beyoncé’s at the bar, so I said to Beyoncé, ‘Did she really bite you?’ She was like, ‘Yeah.’ I was like, ‘She gonna get her ass beat tonight.’ She was like, ‘Tiffany, no. Don’t do that. That bitch is on drugs. She not even drunk. The bitch is on drugs. She not like that all the time. Just chill.’ ”
What we know: An actress “on drugs” at a party in December bit Beyoncé in the face.
What we don’t know: The actress’s name.
What we need: The guest list.
Speaking of Tiffany Haddish, Hunter (yes, the boot brand) hosted some event with Target in Pasadena over the weekend and so many boring celebrities (like Anna Kendrick and Kate Bosworth) attended. Fortunately, Tiffany also got an invite and showed them all up. Even her shoes are better!
Our long national nightmare is finally over: the lawsuit between Lana Del Rey and Radiohead has been settled. Earlier this year, Del Rey claimed the band sued her for plagiarizing their classic song “Creep” in her [new] classic song “Get Free.”
Fortunately for us, the singer/songwriter/poet said this at Lollapalooza Sao Paulo over the weekend:
“I mean now that my lawsuit’s over, I guess I can sing that song any time I want, right?
The song came true.
Kylie’s “summer goals” are getting this body back:
- Here’s a video of my precious darling Brandon Flowers falling off a stage. :( [ONTD]
- Meghan Markle LOVES royal life and don’t you fucking dare say she doesn’t! [Gossip Cop]
- Star Jones married someone named Ricardo Lugo on a cruise ship. [E! Online]
- Last month Charlie Puth told a funny story about having to give James Taylor a pep talk while they recorded a song together. [Billboard]
- This is that song. [Just Jared]