Remember when we were all excited because we heard that Glee had hired new writers? Well those new peeps have arrived to write Rachel, Finn and Kurt off the show. Lea Michele, Cory Monteith and the exquisite Chris Colfer will graduate at the end of the fall season and will not return for the fourth season. My heart, she breaks. Kurt! His clear-as-a-bell voice, his glistening tears, his ability to hold his head high in the face of adversity and nail Beyoncé choreography. Sigh. Show creator Ryan Murphy says: “We made that decision and I involved Chris and Lea and they thought that was a good idea,” says Murphy. “They both trust the writing and trust me and felt that it would be great to have an open and closed experience for them to go out while they were on top.” And: “You can keep them on the show for six years and people will criticize you for not being realistic,” he says, “or you can be really true to life and say when they started the show they were very clearly sophomores and they should graduate at the end of their senior year.” Whatever, dude. Still calling my band Kurt’s Tears. [People, Daily Mail]
Turnabout is fair play: A female marine has asked Justin Timberlake to the Marine Corps Ball. [People]Cher. Is back in the studio. Recording a track she received as a gift. From Lady Gaga. Sit back and absorb. [Vulture]
Speaking of Gags: The lady performed in a wheelchair at a show in Sydney, and was subsequently egged. [HuffPo]
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Brad and Angelina will get married in the fall. [NYDN]
Kim Kardashian has set a date; she will get married on August 20. Clear your calendars. [Contact Music]
Kim Kardashian will have ONE THOUSAND wedding guests. [Contact Music]
Meanwhile, Kim‘s mom Kris got a pre-wedding face-lift. [Gatecrasher]
Khloe is planning a “super dirty” bachelorette party for Kim. Uh, I hate to say what immediately came to mind. It upsets me that I’m thinking about it, but it just popped into my head. Maybe you know what it is. Rhymes with may day mex cape. [E!]
The steamy slash fanfic has a new chapter: Here are Jake Gyllenhaal and Bear Grylls shirtless in the snow. But baby it’s cold outside! [Daily Mail]
- Headline of the day: “Aretha Franklin Is A Hoarder And Needs An Intervention!” Best line in the story: “Every once in awhile you can see a Grammy poking out of the chaos.” [Janet Charlton’s Hollywood]
- The person who may have hit Nicki Minaj in the face with a suitcase was her personal assistant. [Digital Spy]
- Breaking: Oprah has learned to swim. Repeat: Oprah has leaned how to swim. [Digital Spy]
- Kristen Wiig has gotten the green light to make a film she’s been wanting to do for a while: “It’s basically about a girl who kind of pretends to kill herself… to get her recently ex-boyfriend’s attention. She ends up having to go live with her mom, whom she hasn’t seen in years.” [Huffington Post]
- Of course Zooey Deschanel wrote a song for the Winnie The Pooh movie. Of course! [AP]
- Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen have been “hanging out.” [TMZ]
- And now a message from Chris Brown‘s reps:
- “A totally fictitious article ran in the current Star Magazine (issue date July 25, 2011) accusing our client Chris Brown of doing something that he did not do. The article claimed that on June 29, 2011, Chris participated in a pick up basketball game at 24 Hour Fitness Center in LA and said some very inappropriate statements. The incident described did not occur, nor did the Star ever contact Chris’ representatives to request comment or confirmation. Chris was filming a video with AceHood on June 29 and never left the set. He spent the entire day with dozens of members of the production team filming the video for “Body To Body” at 1870 Sunset Plaza in West Hollywood. The Star accompanied the fabricated story with a photo of Chris playing basketball in New York that was taken on the day of his F.A.M.E. CD release in March.Chris Brown’s management is considering taking appropriate legal action against the paper… We stand behind our client and want to set the record straight that this did not happen.”
- [Contact Music]
- Time for a palate cleanser, something sweet: Rufus Wainwright‘s getting married. [Contact Music]
- Kal Penn has quit his White House job so he can be on How I Met Your Mother. [AOL TV]
- Kelly Osbourne was watching TV and recognized her mom’s missing jewelry on a show about crime. Sharon Osbourne and the 10-carat diamond ring given to her by Ozzy in 2002 when they renewed their vows will be reunited. [Digital Spy]
- Did you see Exit Through The Gift Shop? The new Mr. Brainwash street art in L.A. is actually a Red Hot Chili Peppers ad. [TMZ]
- Daniel Baldwin claims his wife threatened to kill him after she watched a documentary about wives who kill their husbands. “Now I know how to do it, I understand why they did it. You have been warned,” she allegedly stated. So he’s filed for divorce. [OMG!]
- Daniel Baldwin‘s wife has been arrested for violating her probation. [Radar]
- Party like it’s 1999: Blink-182 is releasing a new single. [Vulture]
- Another blast from the past: Cory and Topanga are still in touch: “We don’t just talk, we tweet! She’ll always be my first ‘wife.'” [ONTD via Wonderwall]
- “I want some (more), but I think my wife’s done. I tried to say, ‘Yo, let’s go for another round!’ and she’s like, ‘I’ll kill you!'” — Nick Cannon says Mariah Carey has closed the baby factory. [Contact Music]