This Weekend’s Most Devastating Split Was Amber Heard and Elon Musk’s

By Bobby Finger  |  August 7, 2017 | 1:50pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag

Though Chris Pratt and Anna Faris’s separation quickly became the biggest celebrity story of the weekend after being shared late Sunday evening, the most personally devastating relationship news announced over the past few days was that dog smuggler Amber Heard and aspiring human Elon Musk have called it quits.

After a year of globetrotting, cheek-kissing, and zip-lining, our low key best celebrity couple decided to end their year-long relationship because “the timing wasn’t good for them.”

Us Weekly reports Musk has simply been working too hard creating Minority Report cars, train tubes, and whatnot, while Heard is far too busy with Aquaman (the movie, not the Aquaman).

I was rooting for this one to last—if only for the chance to see pictures of their weird billionaire wedding and honeymoon to the the literal moon.

[Us Weekly]

You know whose romantic relationship is just fine? Chip and Joanna Gaines’s, thank you very much! You know how I know? Because of these tweets!

You know whose romantic relationship is probably non-existent and unworthy of TMZ’s breathless headlines and Saturday morning push alerts? Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry’s! Their dinner together in LA over the weekend was (probably) just another platonic hang, as the two have been pals for years.

Here are some headlines from the past several years that prove this is just good friend behavior:

[TMZ]