This Thanksgiving We Should All Come Together to Condemn Detective Pikachu

Illustration for article titled This Thanksgiving We Should All Come Together to Condemn Detective Pikachu
Screenshot: Warner Bros.

Today, the country is divided more than ever. Political polarization is on the rise. Some of us voted once again for overt racists, while others voted to kick a wet brown paper bag out of office. Ariana Grande has already split up with Pete Davidson and moved on to dating Ariana Grande. The sexy duck might be freezing to death, but we’ll never know because all he can say is “weep weep.”


Amidst this era of incivility and division, it’s hard to imagine that there will be anything resembling peace at the Thanksgiving dinner table. But this year, there’s one thing that the entire country can get united around: condemning Detective Pikachu.

When your uncle tells you that New York City is lucky to have Amazon move in, instead try bringing up how isn’t it an aberration that they put Ryan Reynolds inside Pikachu’s body? Wow, can you imagine if they made a movie about you and put Ryan Reynolds inside your body??

When your grandma starts to ask you why you don’t have a job, have you considered working at the Washington Post it’s a great resume builder, bring up how actually it’s pretty ego-centric for us to assume that deep down, Pokémon communicate in the same way that humans do and that they should have to speak in the voice of Ryan Reynolds rather than us speak in the voice of Pokémon.

When your brother starts talking about PC culture has created a generation of millennials waiting to be offended, politely change the topic to how Ryan Reynolds comparing Pikachu to Deadpool on Instagram is actually offensive.

When your cousin’s new girlfriend says that she actually prefers her cranberry sauce with walnuts, loudly exclaim how it’s kind of rude to make Pikachu work as a cop and it’s questionable whether or not she would be comfortable taking a position that props up the prison industrial complex.


The world (and your immediate family) might be full of wrong opinions. But this Thanksgiving at least we can agree—correctly—that Detective Pikachu should be illegal.



Aww I actually think it looks cute! But I will also admit to being one of 5 people left in the world who still plays Pokémon Go, and I have terrible taste in...well...everything.