This Old Man Fights Dirtier Than You

There’s a fight brewing in Long Island that would make the stars of Grumpy Old Men guffaw — except this geriatric beef is about softball, tampering with prescriptions and involves a lawsuit.

The story begins with two men, Ronald Tagliaferri, 74, and Robert Willis, 72, who joined the same softball team where the pair first came to blows over their uniforms. Back in March 2013, according to a lawsuit filed in Suffolk County by Willis, Tagliaferri, who used to be the team’s manager, didn’t like Willis’ color and style choices and decided to fight him over pants and a shirt, according to the Post.

After that incident Tagliaferri left Willis a message “in a menacing and threatening tone” warning that he knew where his teammate “gets his prescriptions filled” and that Willis “should be on the lookout.” We’re threatening people’s cholesterol and blood pressure medication now? Guys, it can’t be that serious.

Willis, like any normal person, switched teams and joined the Eagles because if what this lawsuit entails is true, Tagliaferri is not in his right mind and might need some medication of his own. Several months later, Tagliaferri called up Willis and threaten to “beat [his] brains out with a baseball bat” if he showed up for a game with the Eagles. Naturally, he did that August and dentures, partials and medical ID bracelets flew.

The umpire called Willis out at second base, but the hard-of-hearing baserunner asked him to repeat the call — and Tagliaferri exploded, the lawsuit states.

“Hey, you’re out! Get off the goddamn base!” he shouted, the suit says. Tagliaferri charged at Willis and again had to be restrained, the suit states.

For his side, the story’s aggressor calls Willis’ allegations “outright lies,” adding that he never threatened to pummel him with a bat because Willis has “osteoporosis, he doesn’t walk too great. I wouldn’t do anything to [hurt] this guy.”