This Is the Woman Suing Mila Kunis Over a Chicken

Meet Kristina Karo, the woman who is suing—or claiming to sue—Mila Kunis over a pet chicken that Kunis allegedly stole when they were children in Ukraine. This is her new hit song “Give Me Green Card.” At the risk of editorializing, I think I love her?

Karo claims that the emotional stress caused by Kunis’ chicken theft ruined her singing career, but I don’t see it that way. I say that the emotional stress has inspired her to rise from the ashes as a true artist who definitely and without doubt deserves a green card.

This is the patriot who is suing Mila Kunis over a chicken.

This is the woman who asks for what she wants and is suing Mila Kunis over a chicken.

This is the lovechild of Phoebe Price and Brett Michaels. She is suing Mila Kunis because Mila Kunis stole her chicken.

Mila Kunis stole Kristina Karo’s chicken. Kristina Karo stole America’s heart.