On Monday, Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert announced they had filed for divorce. That’s a Tammy Wynette song. On Tuesday, insiders claimed Lambert was at fault, and that cheated on Shelton with two different dudes. That’s a Hank Williams song. Today, sources are claiming Lambert is completely innocent and that Shelton did all the cheating. This one, obviously, is Carrie Underwood.
Combined, the past three days have been an Alan Jackson song. Or maybe all of the Maya Rudolph and Jennifer Aniston songs from this perfect SNL sketch.
It’s a classic case of he said/she said … but sources close to Lambert say Shelton’s the one who strayed … with a famous country singer no less.
The sources claim Blake’s camp was unscrupulous, and threw mud with the help of a powerful PR firm that attacked Miranda before the ink was dry on the divorce docs.
At this rate, tomorrow they’ll be back together. Friday they’ll disappear. On Saturday, Earth will suddenly become Mars. By Sunday the universe will have returned to complete nothingness.
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