This Dental Practice Training Calendar Is the Creepiest Fucking Thing

Illustration for article titled This Dental Practice Training Calendar Is the Creepiest Fucking Thing

What is this? You ask. Are these mutants? Or deformed Real Dolls (tm)? Or what happened in Eyes Without A Face? The truth is a little less exciting: these terrifying images are of dentist practice models.

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Which brings us to the next terrifying point: your dentist practices on these things. And when he's drilling your teeth all he sees is this plastic model, which is probably why you get poked so much. Hey doc, my mouths filling with blood over here snjdncnxmxmmmph... annnnd I'm dead.

The models are in a perpetual open-mouthed state. In some instances this KIND OF works (model in sunshine, model running, model greeting boyfriend who is returning from molar-abscessistan) but in many cases, such as October, it doesn't. And that's where the real beauty lies: in gazing upon a family of these models as they scream silently in a pumpkin patch. Horrifying.

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I'm not even sure which image is the most petrifying. Let's take a look.

October: Here's the aforementioned family of fucking creepers in a pumpkin patch.

Illustration for article titled This Dental Practice Training Calendar Is the Creepiest Fucking Thing


September: Here are some fucking creepers in a school bus.

Illustration for article titled This Dental Practice Training Calendar Is the Creepiest Fucking Thing
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April: Here's a fucking creeper in a field of flowers.

Illustration for article titled This Dental Practice Training Calendar Is the Creepiest Fucking Thing
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March: Here's two fucking creepers stretching.

Illustration for article titled This Dental Practice Training Calendar Is the Creepiest Fucking Thing
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In conclusion, I'm never sleeping again.

[Imgur, h/t Mark Shrayber]

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DISCUSSION

That reminds me of some things...

This is a "dental phantom", c. 1930: a teaching device used by dental students for practice

Dentists' mascot, 21st century: and we've learned nothing