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This Canadian Ice Dancing Pair's Lift Is Apparently Too Sexy for the Olympics

Ice dancing, a sport known for the grace and agility of humans who can glide across an ice rink on a very thin blade, is not generally sexy, but sometimes, a move that places the female ice dancer’s vagina in the face of the male ice dancer for, like, two seconds, is.

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Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir are a Canadian ice dancing pair competing in the Olympics. They’ll be bringing the routine you see above, but changed slightly to remove the sexy part—a part so sexy that, according to the Toronto Star, “The Canadian Press was leery of moving photos which captured the pose.” Somewhere around the 2:25 mark, Virtue straddles Moir’s shoulder and wraps her legs around his neck. She exits this sensual seduction rather quickly and places her legs back on the ice to skate for six more minutes. Technically, Virtue and Moir didn’t change their routine because it was too sexy. “What it came down to actually was that when we slowed it down and looked on the video, it wasn’t aesthetically that beautiful of a position, so we wanted to change it, make it a little bit better,” Moir said to the Star. Nice save, guy, but anyone with eyes knows the truth.

This move—it’s clearly too sexy. So hot that the ice is melting beneath their skates. Hotter than Moulin Rouge, the movie that their music comes from. Hotter than Virtue’s backless skating costume. Too hot for the Olympics and for the hordes of impressionable young children watching; soon their parents will find them in their room, “practicing” the lift with an unsuspecting teddy bear. Can’t have it! Won’t do it! Put it away!

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“We wanted to make a bit of a different statement. If that was bringing an edge or sexuality or darkness, or a contemporary feel to it, then mission accomplished I guess,” Virtue told the Toronto Star. Congratulations, girl, you did it.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

thenoblerenard
The Noble Renard

The corruption of our youth by Canadians will not stop unless we halt this ice-dancing filth in its track. What’s next? They pause in the middle of their seductive dance to hand out leaflets on the need for a universal health-care system?