Blorp. Another day, another allegation that adult man and Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash met a 16-year-old boy on a sexy chat line and underagedly sexed him up. I'm starting to feel like Kevin-Clash-underage-sex-allegations are going to become a monthly occurrence and I can begin charting my menses by them like the new moon. Anyway, THIS particular guy, who is still anonymous, says he began "writing a book in 2009 about his relationship with Clash and the lawyer will be releasing excerpts of the memoir during a press conference on Tuesday." Harvey Levin has never masturbated so hard.
The lawyer said his client met Clash on a gay chat line when he was exploring modeling opportunities in New York. The accuser said during this time Clash went under the pseudonym "Craig" and claimed to be 30 years old, the Daily News reported.
Herman said his client met with Clash again in 2003 and 2004, and over time figured out Clash's identity through the numerous Elmo dolls in his apartment when he met the teen for sex.
A spokeswoman said Clash "believes this lawsuit has no merit."
I...okay. I can't even. Numerous Elmo dolls. Will someone please get Harvey Levin some balm? [CBS]
Coincidentally, here's more breaking news from Odiousville! Charlie Sheen SPEAKS OUT about his costar going totally kookaburra all over the internet. Thank god you're here, Uncle Charlie. As you probably heard yesterday, one-half-of-one-man Angus T. Jones (Half Man Talking!) told the internet that Two and a Half Men is a portkey to hell jizzed directly into our televisions from Satan's fiery urethra. Here's Charlie's take:
"With Angus's Hale-Bopp-like meltdown, it is radically clear to me that the show is cursed," Sheen, who knows from meltdowns after being fired in a blaze of glory from the hit sitcom in early 2011, tells E! News.
Charlie, you do realize you're using Harry Potter jargon to criticize this kid for believing in the devil, right? That works for you? 'Kay. Cursed it is. [E!]
Update: Angus T. Jones has very slightly apologized, saying:
"Chuck Lorre, Peter Roth and many others at Warner Bros. and CBS are responsible for what has been one of the most significant experiences in my life to date. I thank them for the opportunity they have given and continue to give me and the help and guidance I have and expect to continue to receive from them."
He goes on, "I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed. I never intended that."
You "never intended" to disrespect them by calling them "filth"? I don't feel like you know what words mean. [TMZ]
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Catching Fire photos EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. [EW]
Here's Scott Baio saying a bunch of stupid shit about his stupid life:
"Guys are a little more confused about parenting than moms are," Baio told The New York Daily News. "I'm just sort of guessing most of the time when I'm with my kid and hope I'm doing it right. I know my child, but this guy on ‘See Dad Run' doesn't really know his children."
YEAH, WOMEN. YOU HEARD BAIO—GET BACK INSIDE AND SUCKLE SOME YOUNG. IT'S JUST WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT. [HuffPo]
- Dolly Parton is pretty into her jugz. [Express]
- Dule Hill is separating from his wife, so GET ON IT, PEOPLE WHO LOVE DULE HILL. [TMZ]
- Shakira invites you to look at her bump. [People]
- AMC is launching a 90-minute block of reality shows on Thursday nights, including Kevin Smith's Comic Book Men and "a taxidermy competition show," which can only end well. [LATimes]
- "Selena Gomez Advocates Vandalism" says ridiculous headline. [AdRants]
- A.J. McLean made a baybay and then apparently imprinted on it. [E!]
- Kim Kardashian is "the most popular person on Bing"—which, to crib Ricky Gervais, is like saying you've got "Britains #1 Wasting Disease." [ContactMusic]
- Jaden Smith has a crush on Kendall Jenner because we've got to talk about something. [ShowbizSpy]
- Based on the headline, I was prepared to defend "Pippa Middleton's Bust-Grazing, High-Waisted Skirt," but this outfit is FAWKING GOOFAY. [Us]