These Hilariously Outdated Fabio Book Covers Will Make Your Day

Illustration for article titled These Hilariously Outdated Fabio Book Covers Will Make Your Day

Do you remember that episode from Cycle 7 of America's Next Top Model when the contestants had to pose for fake romance novel covers alongside Fabio? If you saw it you'd definitely recall seeing as it might have been one of the grimmest things to have ever appeared on television. Fabio was at least twice the age of the season's oldest contestant and watching the young girls feign (at best) enthusiasm and (at worst) horniness throughout the shoot was close to unbearable. Yeah, this is ANTM we're talking about here (and an ANTM episode from 2006 no less), but come on — having the girls pose with a weathered old traffic cone in a Kelly Bundy wig would have had similar results and it would have been much more fun to watch.

Advertisement

But let's think back to a time when Fabio was a whole lot more than the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spokesman Tyra used to terrify her charges. (Sorry, Fabio — you've already been through enough.) How about we take a walk down memory lane to the male model's glory days — the 80s and early 90s — when he was appearing on the covers of countless romance novels and was considered one of the world's hottest sex symbols.

Sincerely, his work from that time is worth celebrating and revisiting. Not only is it amazingly nostalgic, cheesy and outdated, but all of his covers tell incredible stories on their own. You don't even need to read the book!

Hope you wore your least valuable bodice, ladies, 'cause that shit's about to get ripped.


Illustration for article titled These Hilariously Outdated Fabio Book Covers Will Make Your Day

Spoiler alert: This novel is actually about a pervert horse that watches people do it through windows.


Illustration for article titled These Hilariously Outdated Fabio Book Covers Will Make Your Day
Advertisement

Is that you, Jabba the Hutt? You been taking that Trim Spa, baby?


Illustration for article titled These Hilariously Outdated Fabio Book Covers Will Make Your Day
Advertisement

Illustration for article titled These Hilariously Outdated Fabio Book Covers Will Make Your Day
Advertisement

This is where you need to consider fantasy vs. reality. You can fantasize about fucking on a ladder, but you probably shouldn't do it unless you want to break your neck.


Illustration for article titled These Hilariously Outdated Fabio Book Covers Will Make Your Day
Advertisement

This one's a rare bird! Of all the covers I went through, Dark Whispers is the only one where the man had his head thrown back and the woman appeared in a more dominant/less vulnerable physical position.


Illustration for article titled These Hilariously Outdated Fabio Book Covers Will Make Your Day
Advertisement

Oh, noooooo! Fabio's workout outfit is embarrassingly similar to the outfit I wear pretty much every day. I reject Fabio because I am Fabio.


Illustration for article titled These Hilariously Outdated Fabio Book Covers Will Make Your Day
Advertisement

THIS MAN'S ARM IS MADE OF BROOOOOOONZE.


Illustration for article titled These Hilariously Outdated Fabio Book Covers Will Make Your Day
Advertisement

Here, Fabio looks almost like Cheers era Ted Danson and I. am. into. it.


Illustration for article titled These Hilariously Outdated Fabio Book Covers Will Make Your Day
Advertisement

If "dangerous" Fabio is ever looking for a "dangerous" gang, these guys might be jumping in new members.


Illustration for article titled These Hilariously Outdated Fabio Book Covers Will Make Your Day
Advertisement

"He was a naked peasant living naked in a field of wheat. She was the daughter of a nobleman and had a vagina growing out of her back. It was a love that couldn't be. It was a passion that couldn't be denied."


[Official Fabio Internet Fan Club]

DISCUSSION

Awwe, c'mon, those ANTM girls were just being bitches! Fabio seems like an A-OK dude to me!

He's just tryna get his shop on, and happy to oblige. Whatta guy!!