There Is No Safe Way to Kiss a Cow

The Austrian government has released a statement warning that the “Cow Kiss Challenge” is probably not safe and definitely gross.

On May 15, a Swiss app called Castl introduced the KuhKussChallenge urging users in Switzerland and other German-speaking countries to kiss cows either “with or without tongues” in order to raise money for charity. The Guardian doesn’t say how cow-frenching is meant to raise money. Is it like the Math-a-Thon where friends and family pledge a small amount for every cow successfully kissed or just a blanket pledge for kissing one cow?

Either way, the Austrian agriculture minister, Elisabeth Köstinger, released a statement reminding us all of a simple truth easily forgotten: most cows do not want to kiss us:

“‘Pastures and meadows are not petting zoos – actions like these could have serious consequences.’” She also warned that cows could become aggressive when defending their calves.”

Between the hedgehog salmonella and the international crackdown on French-kissing cows, it’s almost as if we shouldn’t be kissing wildlife at all.