The Wokest Baes of August 2016
LatestHello. Sorry for the delay, my fellow champions for the pretty attractive and mostly decent men of the world. I slept in. Not very woke of me, I know. Fall is close, but as the temperature begins to cool, please keep a fire in your hearts for the men of August who were not terrible!
Ben and Jerry
Bae Factor
Great ice cream, guys!
Woke Factor: It was clear that these ice cream icons were pretty damn woke when they were campaigning for Bernie Sanders which was the bold signature move of woke baes everywhere for about three months. Still, I did not know the full extent. SEVEN WHOLE REASONS? I mean, gahdamn. Thats a lot of reasons. And none of them have to do with ice cream or include any ice cream jokes so you know they’re super serious about this.
Josh Groban
Bae Factor
He’s giving me kinda cute TA from your political science recitation who still shows up to undergraduate parties but is also a real man, unlike all these college boys.
Woke Factor: Look at Josh simultaneously pointing out how the accomplishments of women are so often undervalued while also critiquing the bubble of white-male privilege which allowed Ryan Lochte to act like a dumb fish-man and emerge relatively unscathed. In a single tweet, Josh took the patriarchy in his hand, sang it a lullaby with that voice of his that people tell me is good, crushed it into tiny pieces, and added it to his morning coffee. (The best part of waking up is wokeness in your cup.)
Daniel Radcliffe
Daniel Radcliffe was in a very edgy movie. Allow Refinery29 to report:
“Whenever I was using racial slurs and stuff in the film I would have to go up to the actors afterwards and be like, ‘I’m so sorry,’” Radcliffe shared. “’I just, like, have to say it. I know you know that I don’t mean this, but I still feel like I have to say it.’ We were the most apologetic bunch of skinheads.”
Bae Factor
Daniel will never not be Harry Potter to this millennial, but could be worse.