The Sweet Science: Proof That Pie Trumps Cake

Illustration for article titled The Sweet Science: Proof That Pie Trumps Cake

I love cake. Cake is wonderful. But it is too easy to get caught up in the idea of cake. When you compare the data, it is clear that pie is a better choice.

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1. ABILITY OF ENJOYMENT TO BE SUSTAINED OVER TIME:

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The first few mouthfuls of cake are almost magical, but as eating continues, enjoyment drops off precipitously. The enjoyment curve for pie appears to be much more stable over time.


2. UNEQUAL FROSTING DISTRIBUTION IS A PROBLEM:

Illustration for article titled The Sweet Science: Proof That Pie Trumps Cake

Pie exhibits much greater homogeneity than cake. In cake, the highest concentration of awesomeness is found in the frosting. The act of decorating a cake can polarize it and cause a dangerously uneven distribution of frosting, leading to discord and animosity during serving time.


3. PIE APPEARS TO CONTAIN A GREATER RELATIVE VOLUME OF ENJOYABLE SUBSTANCES:

Illustration for article titled The Sweet Science: Proof That Pie Trumps Cake
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Illustration for article titled The Sweet Science: Proof That Pie Trumps Cake




4. PIE IS MORE SCIENTIFICALLY VERSATILE:

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5. PIE IS RELEVANT IN A GREATER VARIETY OF SITUATIONS:

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Cake is appropriate in a very limited number of situations, whereas almost any day is a great day to have pie.


6. CAKE HAS MUCH MORE SEVERE, LONGER-LASTING CONSEQUENCES THAN PIE:

Illustration for article titled The Sweet Science: Proof That Pie Trumps Cake
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Illustration for article titled The Sweet Science: Proof That Pie Trumps Cake






UPDATE: It's too early to tell whether this hybridization is the best idea ever or just dangerous and foolish:

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Illustration for article titled The Sweet Science: Proof That Pie Trumps Cake

Most likely it will either solve all the problems in the world or end humanity in a hyperglycemic blaze of glory.


This post originally appeared on Hyperbole and a Half. Republished with permission.

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DISCUSSION

isisdreams
isisdreams

The problems with pie are too many to list but I will try:

1. Bad-tasting crust (think cardboard)

2. Soggy bottom crust (think wet cardbaord)

3. Burnt crust

4. Filling that is not sweetened, spiced correctly

5. Filling fruit that is not 'right'

6. Filling falls out upon service

7. No icing or glaze option, which would help alot of the nasty crusts I've been subjected to

...Should I continue?