The Rihanna Rihport: EMERGENCY ALLEGED INSTAGRAM, DEBUNKED Edition
Rihanna quit Instagram in May. The Rihanna Rihport is where we try to cope.
DATELINE: Rihanna, October 6—BREAKING!! Certain gossip sites, such as Urban Islandz and Harper’s Bazaar, are alleging that Rihanna, Our Lady of Badness, has secretly been Instagramming for MONTHS! The rumor outlets report that she has rih-joined as @Bahdgalriri, and that of course it MUST be the Official New Account of Rihanna Herself, because the photos posted there are intimate, personal selfies, and that “it’s likely they’re coming from Rihanna or a member of [her] camp.”
However, as thorough scholars in the art of Rihannaology, we are here to squash the idea that @Bahdgalriri is actually the real Rihanna. Unfortunately! Believe it, the Rihport is so sad, too, because we want nothing more than the Rihsurrection of @Badgalriri. But all of these photos on the alleged secret account seem taken from other, not-secret accounts! For instance, the flick of Her Rihjesty cooking crab legs was first posted by @ciarrap, aka Ciarra Pardo, aka Rihanna’s longtime Creative Director, as the Navy can tell you! And the most recent selfies of Rihanna posted on @Bahdgalriri are reposted from Rihanna’s Twitter. As Navyista and Spiritual Friend to the Rihport @ohhhsokayla commented, “this is NOT Rihanna, this person is fake and pretending to be her. Rih is NOT back on IG. These pictures are from her twitter, Rihanna ONLY has a twitter, this person is a poser.” RIGHT, OHHHSOKAYLA?! Rih be like,