The Popular Pursuit Of Library Sex

According to the latest Best of Craigslist, stack-nookie is a recurring dream for many. If only it were just a dream.

The first time I ran across people getting it on in a library, I was looking for a friend in the stacks. I went to the usual study spot, and instead of a studious, lone Medieval studies major…yeah. “Excuse me,” I muttered and scuttled away. On another floor, I ran across a couple whose, ahem, backs were to me so I was able to slip away unnoticed. Other times, friends and I ran across condoms. Clearly, this isn’t just a fantasy: people really like having sex in the library.

So, what’s the appeal? Beyond the taboo, it’s secluded, it’s convenient (especially if you’re there already!), add college students to the mix and, well. Plus, it’s in Party Girl, which is really the best reason to do anything.

For others, it’s clearly the whole “Sexy librarian” thing. In the words of one San Franciscan, “fornication should have been reclaimed by the bookish long ago.” Adds a Phily academic, “nerdy professor seeks stacked librarian for some uncharacteristic fun.” Then there’s the fact that, “Fun, Fun, Fun”-style, “the library” is pretty much the best alibi out there.

Still: to the couples I interrupted, I join my voice with that of the writer of “Dear Guy Masterbating in the Library In Enoch Pratt.” Some of us are trying to study here. And clean up your condoms: that’s how Parker gets fired.