The Most Interesting Moments in Britney Spears' Video for 'Perfume'

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Britney Spears has released the video for her song “Perfume” and it is not good. We knew it wouldn’t be good. The song is not good. The lyric video was not good. And yet, there is something, dare I say, interesting*, about how not good this video is.

* In this article “interesting” can be roughly translated to mean “the only things worth commenting on.”

1. How dead her love interest looks in this film when he is presumably a living man

He could totally get a job at Madame Tussaud’s as a wax figurine with those sculpted, hairless abs.

2. The idea that people put on perfume by posing like this

Or that anyone has a bathroom lit from the outside by this particular color of fuchsia.

3. How long it took for Britney Spears to product place her own perfume

One minute and 39 seconds.

4. The bravery of admitting that you are a disgusting human who lies on a bed without a fitted sheet on it after sex.

GERMS.

5. This fake text message

APPLE DID NOT APPROVE THIS VIDEO.

6. The title cards

Coooooool right?

7. The girl who plays the “other woman” is also looks like Ted Mosby’s daughter on How I Met Your Mother

Her name is Lyndsy Fonseca and she has been on Desperate Housewives, Nikita, etc. Now you know.

Apparently this girl is not Lyndsy Fonseca but actress Alandrea Martin. Martin finds Fonseca “gorgeous and talented!” however. Now you know.

8. When the Other Woman and the Hot Wax Figurine give the finger to absolutely no one/the world

A blink-and-you-missed it moment of rebellion demonstrating their true love.

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