The Most Amazing Display Of Drunken Sexuality In Reality TV History

On the season premiere of Rock of Love Bus, one woman inserted a test tube of alcohol into her vagina and, from there, poured it into another woman's mouth.

So much happened in this 90-minute episode, but naturally, nothing tops vagina shots. The women on this season of Rock of Love are blonder, chestier, drunker, and lezzier than any of the other contestants combined. Bret ended up eliminating the two women who engaged in the vagina shots, which sucks because you know they would've made awesome TV, but there are still many left who will fill the void of, well, vapidness. As one self-aware contestant pointed out, "I'm a centerfold model for Penthouse, and I'm the classiest one here at this point."

We wish that Bret would've kept around Nikki for at least one more episode, for several reasons, but mainly because she:
1.) Sang him a song that she penned on the back of a CDC informational pamphlet about genital herpes.

Illustration for article titled The Most Amazing Display Of Drunken Sexuality In Reality TV History
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2.) Is like this:

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justcallmespartacus-old
justcallmespartacus

Okay so vagina shots reminds me of this story I heard from one of my coworkers once about how he went to a friend's bachelor party and the groomsmen had gotten a stripper to come to the hotel room that they were all staying in and at one point during her routine, she stood on her head, inserted the stick of a lollipop into her vagina and made the guys one at a time come and suck the lollipop out of her with their mouths. My coworker claims that the stick of the lollipop he sucked out was covered with a slightly greenish discharge that smelled more foul than anything he had ever smelled in his life. I said "sounds like the stripper had a yeast infection."

To this day, whenever that tale pops into my mind, I hope and pray that it was all hyperbole.