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The Manly World of Manly Plastic Surgery for Manly Men

Illustration for article titled The Manly World of Manly Plastic Surgery for Manly Men

Today we received a press release touting the launch of an "all Male Plastic Surgery Website." FUN.

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You know the site for Manhattan Plastic Surgery For Men is for men because has a dark background and a glaring gentleman wearing a tuxedo. This is where James Bond would go to get a tummy tuck.

Right away, the site attempts to place visitors into categories, asking: WHICH TYPE ARE YOU?

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Illustration for article titled The Manly World of Manly Plastic Surgery for Manly Men

Your choices: Male Model, Bodybuilder, Athletic Dad and CEO/Boardroom. Did you know "boardroom" was a type of man?

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's start with Male Model.

Illustration for article titled The Manly World of Manly Plastic Surgery for Manly Men
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"You chose Male Model because… You are a male model." No argument. This logic is sound. But also something is clearly wrong with you, even though you are modeling. You need jawline recontouring, hi def liposculpting and a fattier ass. The copy reads:

When used on the upper and lower abdomen, Hi Def Liposculpting chisels out the perfect six-pack and pelvic lines for the ultimate male model look.

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Now I'm suspicious of all of Hollywood's most famous abs and "V" lines. Like this one. Or this one. Or this one. Were they sculpted on a surgical table instead of a gym? How would we ever know? Seriously, check out this before-and-after:

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If there were scars you would never notice.

Anyway, let's move on. The Bodybuilder type is similar to the Male Model type — it's all about definition and getting rid of big boobs. But what about "Athletic Dad"?

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Illustration for article titled The Manly World of Manly Plastic Surgery for Manly Men

"You don't get a second look anymore." Sad face. This is depressing. Athletic dads who love their families need jawline recontouring and eyelifts. Sigh. Why is this so upsetting? Maybe because it reinforces what a lookist society we've become, where being successful and healthy is not enough; it's also vital that we all stay aesthetically pleasing to strangers.

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Last but not least: The CEO/Boardroom.

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"Your assistant says you look tired." Every CEO boardroom knows how you handle that problem. You fire it. A lot cheaper than a neck lift.

[Male Plastic Surgery New York]

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DISCUSSION

stargazie01
Star Gazie

Huh! I wouldn't say cutting your arms off is minimally invasive!