The 'Long Balls' on This Cat's Face Do Not Resemble a Penis

When any publication informs me that the “internet” has fallen in love with something, I am often skeptical. Rarely does the object of the internet’s collective affection deliver—but this cat, Daisy (no relation), does in spades.

According to Page Six, the internet has lost its collective marbles over this fluffy lil’ scamp with markings on her precious face that, to some perverts, resembles a penis. As Jezebel’s resident pervert, I eagerly clicked on the link hoping to see an eerily lifelike rendition of a dick and accompanying balls on the face of this cat. Instead, I saw this.

This is Daisy, a Ragdoll cat up for adoption at the Mini Kitty Commune, a rescue in Australia. She is a big fluffypants with a great attitude and a marking on her face that, if you squint, resembles something, but not the bait and tackle—unless the jiggly bits of the entire package are extremely long. Long balls. It happens. However, presenting Daisy the cat with the maybe-dick on its face to the staff of Jezebel for assessment revealed the depths of not only our creativity, but our depravity, as well.

Here are some other things it actually looks like:

• A reindeer, like on a homemade Christmas stocking
• An inflatable blow up stick man, as seen outside of car dealerships (“They’re called air dancers,” Rich Juzwiak informed me. I thought he was talking about dicks with long balls)
• A bird of prey in flight
• A bald eagle
• A winged centaur, on top of a pedestal
• A rocket
• Goal posts (“A touchdown”)
• Lungs, but upside down
• Groucho Marx glasses, if the eyebrows on said glasses were really short and there were no mustache
• The letter Y, as in “Y is this news”

It seems the cat’s dickface operates as a Rorschach test. Gaze into its visage. What have you learned about yourself?