The Kardashians' Show Could Get Kancelled Because No One Kares

By Callie Beusman  |  October 7, 2013 | 1:18pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag

The Kardashians, America’s favorite family to gape at while shrieking “WHY IS EVERYONE GAPING AT THEM? THEY DON’T EVEN DO ANYTHING!”are quickly falling out of favor with T.V.-watchers across the nation.

Sunday’s episode had a mere 1.7 million viewers — which is half of what the reality show garnered in its peak at 2009. The Daily Mail also notes that Breaking Bad got over 10 million viewers while it was still on the air, which is an apt comparison because the two programs are so similar in plot and critical reception (remember when Hank tricked Walt Jr. into eating a placenta?).

This steep decline in ratings could get the show cancelled prematurely, but that’s mere frenzied speculation that several tabloids are gleefully engaging in. A possible reason for the ratings drop is the fact that everything on the show is fake and everyone knows it. [The Daily Mail]

Did You Know: #1 bad boy of the Jean Valjean impersonator circuit Hugh Jackman used to be a P.E. teacher? When he was attending the Zurich Film Festival, he ran into one of his former students who now works as an entertainment reporter and proceeded to heckle him and dodge his questions in the most jovial manner.

According to the reporter, whose name is Rollo Ross, this happens every time the two run into each other. Hugh Jackman lies awake at night plotting mischievous little comments to make to Former Student Rollo Ross, probably. [ONTD]

It’s open season for open letters! Which sort of irrelevant songstress will crawl out of the woodwork next in order to publicly muse about the state of sexuality? Vanessa Carlton? Susan Boyle? Vonda Shepard from Ally McBeal?

Nope, none of the above — it’s Annie Lennox (who will never be irrelevant because she’s Annie fucking Lennox, but I digress). Annie Lennox took to her Facebook page, as is the new open letter custom, to post this diatribe:

I have to say that I’m disturbed and dismayed by the recent spate of overtly sexualised performances and videos. You know the ones I’m talking about. It seems obvious that certain record companies are peddling highly styled pornography with musical accompaniment. As if the tidal wave of sexualised imagery wasn’t already bombarding impressionable young girls enough..I believe in freedom of speech and expression, but the market forces don’t give a toss about the notion of boundaries. As long as there’s booty to make money out of, it will be bought and sold. It’s depressing to see how these performers are so eager to push this new level of low.Their assumption seems to be that misogyny- utilised and displayed through oneself is totally fine, as long as you are the one creating it. As if it’s all justified by how many millions of dollars and U tube hits you get from behaving like pimp and prostitute at the same time. It’s a glorified and monetized form of self harm.

“U tube”? MOOOOOOMMMM. [ONTD]

  • Jesse Williams and his wife Aryn Drake-Lee are expecting a lil’ bundle of joy. [Us Weekly]
  • Kris Jenner was able to devote two entire sentences to complimenting a person who wasn’t herself or her spawn (that person was Kanye West). After those two sentences she immediately resumed talking about how she is great. [Bossip]
  • Kerry Washington wore a conceptual architectural muumuu and now “baby bump” rumors are swirling. Can’t a girl wear a conceptual architectural muumuu in peace? [Bossip]
  • Prince Harry is reportedly planning to marry Cressida Bonas, a former student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (CRESSIDA BONAS IS THE BEST NAME ON THE PLANET.) [NY Daily News]
  • The little boy from The Shiningbecame a pig farmer and science teacher. [NY Daily News]
  • Josh Hartnett, on the other hand, became Josh Hartnett in a wig. [Just Jared]
  • Carson Daly got engaged to a food blogger. Huh. [Just Jared]
  • The Pussycat Dolls are getting back together. The magical altar you had kept in your closet, at which you would pray every night that PCD would reunite, finally worked! [ONTD]
  • Did Demi Lovato hook up with this young woman I’ve never heard of in my life? Maybe. It’s not impossible that it happened. [ONTD]
  • Louis Tomlinson, also known as the squeaky one from One Direction with the self-satisfied grin, may leave the band — mostly because he’s worried that someone will claw his girlfriend’s eyes out. Tweens: they’re a true menace. [ONTD]
  • Harry Styles might be going into space. In space, no one can hear the tweens scream. [Popcrush]
  • Did Kristen Stewart get new tattoos? I would say probably not, because there are drawings on her arm that were not there before and are probably drawings. There’s one wiggly bit, and a talking fish, and, umm, a ladder? Siiiiick. [PopSugar]
  • Miley Cyrus ditched her VMAs after-party (“ditched” = “left at 3 am with an army of Escalades”) in order to have a tryst with Theo Wenner, a photographer for Rolling Stone whose dad is coincidentally the owner of Rolling Stone. [Radar Online]
  • Lindsay Lohan might be opening a rehab center named after her. [Radar Online]

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