The Government Has to Tell Us About the Aliens Now

Illustration for article titled The Government Has to Tell Us About the Aliens Now
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Buried in the second covid-19 relief bill that Trump signed into law on Sunday evening was a curious provision, one that started a 180-day countdown for the Pentagon and espionage agencies to reveal to the Senate Intelligence Committee what they know about U.F.O.s. That’s right folks—we might finally get the government to tell us about the aliens!

In July, the New York Times first reported on the Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon Task Force, a program tucked inside the Office of Naval Intelligence tasked, unsurprisingly, with investigating unidentified flying objects. The 180-day countdown wasn’t included in the actual text of the legislation, but rather was part of a “committee comment” attached to the annual intelligence authorization act, one of the many parts of the massive government funding legislation.

The NY Post reports that in the comment, the Senate Intelligence Committee “directs the [director of national intelligence], in consultation with the Secretary of Defense and the heads of such other agencies… to submit a report within 180 days of the date of enactment of the Act, to the congressional intelligence and armed services committees on unidentified aerial phenomena.”


The report is required to address any “observed airborne objects that have not been identified,” and should contain a “detailed analysis of unidentified phenomena data collected by: a. geospatial intelligence; b. signals intelligence; c. human intelligence; and d. measurement and signals intelligence.” It must also include “[a] detailed analysis of data of the FBI, which was derived from investigations of intrusions of unidentified aerial phenomena data over restricted United States airspace … and an assessment of whether this unidentified aerial phenomena activity may be attributed to one or more foreign adversaries.”

Although intelligence committee chairman Marco Rubio was largely responsible for the renewed government interest in UFO-related findings, I’d like to think that noted alien truther Demi Lovato was at least partially to thank for this extraterrestrial-related development.

Freelance writer & night blogger at Jezebel. Lover of television, astrology, and sandwiches.

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The Thugnificent Pangaean

*shuffles three cards on a flat cardboard before a crowd of NYC tourists*

336K dead USA residents / one of highest COVID death rates per population in any developed country.

US Senate punts on a $2K individual relief check.

Pivotal Senate elections due in one week.

Shithead loser kicking out pardons before he is dragged out of office.

A military and intel machine trained to ignore violent and substantial threats from Russia, and blame our number one trading partner or internal civil rights activists.

*takes reports of previously unidentified flying objects; some previously confirmed as probable military or test flight vehicles; some as unauthorized DIY drones and balloons; and shoves the top letter out to the public*

*gives undecided voters /secret Trump voters / RW tinfoil a shiny toy to play with until Biden and Harris magically destroy the USA on 20 January, 2021; just like Obama did on January 20, 2009*