Last night the MTV Video Music Awards were held in Los Angeles, and started early. Apparently this was necessary because the President was speaking and it was also Fashion’s Night Out. But it resulted in a fashion photo disaster: Celebrities were all dressed up in the middle of the goddamn afternoon, under the harsh light of the sunny Southern Californian sky, and there were giant shadows on the red carpet and everyone looked like shit. Despite the awful, awful pictures, for which I do not blame the photographers but the organizers, who apparently are not aware that sunlight is hard on skin and clothes and casts shadows, we will proceed, and judge the clothes, which, for the most part, also looked like shit. Let’s get started, shall we?
Let’s start with the good. Rihanna looked gorgeous in short hair and a drapey white gown. Slightly edgy, very elegant.
Rihanna Nailed it. Har.
If you tried to describe Katy Perry‘s dress — leather, with a tie, and then some sheer, with sparkles and a swimsuit underneath — it would sound awful. But it’s actually quite lovely, in a Morticia-Addams-goes-on-a-cruise way.
Sheer is a thing, and you may not be into that thing, but Miley Cyrus looked good. Although. She should have done her hair in an over-the-eye Robyn swoop instead of a stiff Jedward electrocution quiff.
Taylor Swift‘s crisp white suit fits perfectly. Her fair skin and light blonde hair might be ever so slightly washed out, and this might not be the most exciting or fun or youthful ensemble for an MTV event, but like, whatever.
Weird, huh. You imagine a day like this, but you don’t really think it will actually ever arrive. Here it is, folks: Ke$ha looks beautiful.
Holland Roden, from Teen Wolf, one of my guilty pleasures, is so freakin pretty. Dig the ice skating frock, but the hair could be better. Hate the tendrils. Slicked-back bouncy ponytail would have been swellegant, no?
Jesse Williams is so cute we’ll forgive the hat that casts a shadow over those lovely eyes. PSY is rocking true, classy, Gangnam Style. Frank Ocean mixes patterns, and at first you’re like, eh, but then you realize it’s all about the unexpected and not being cookie cutter and not fitting in and so yeah, it works.
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