The Best/Worst Seduction Video Of All Time

By Hortense Smith  |  February 14, 2009 | 8:30pm
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Need an example of the bad “sexy” advice I was talking about earlier? Look no further than this gem from the 1980’s that Broadsheet has brought to our attention: “The Video Guide To Successful Seduction.”

The video, which looks like it was filmed on a home video camera from 1984, teaches us all about the “art” of seduction, which includes leaving your underwear on the stairs, running a bath filled with Berry Blue Kool-Aid, and “taking a Jacuzzi” with a guy wearing a shirt from the Douchebag Couture collection, who thinks you’re “a great person!”

The video is beyond ridiculous and hilarious; from what I know, it’s real, but even if it’s a fake, it’s a pretty great way of capturing the ultimate in cheesy seduction cliches. But as soon as the narrator says, “Seduction doesn’t always have to happen in the bedroom. It can happen anywhere. Your car! The woods!” My brain snapped from OMG hilarious mode to WTF creepy mode. Because nothing says, “Run for it, lady” than a guy who offers to seduce you in the woods, no?

And as Broadsheet points out, the video also gives a half-ass nod to feminism, noting that just after the narrator drones on and on about how men are now comfortable with a woman taking control of her sexuality, the clip shows a woman “doing the kind of dance you just know will lead to a striptease. So there you have it, men. Feminism: It may just get you a striptease! Happy Valentine’s Day!”

The video is all sorts of wrong, but too stupid not to share:

So happy Valentine’s day, indeed. May none of these things happen to you today. Especially the blue bathtub and the creepy loofah encounter. Yikes.

The Video Guide To Successful Seduction [Broadsheet]

 
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