The Bachelorette's Hannah Brown Has Finally Chosen Correctly

This season of The Bachelorette focused far too much on Hannah Brown forgiving deranged golden retriever Luke over and over again as he alienated everyone else on the show and gaslighted Hannah into not trusting her own observations. Then the finale saw Hannah choose dog-food jingle Jed over Peter the adorable pilot and Tyler, who, despite his unfortunate predilection for salmon blazers, won everyone but Hannah’s heart in week four on that New England dock.

But at last, Hannah has seems to have gotten on the same page as everyone at home yelling at their TVs and invited Tyler upstairs for a nightcap. The two were seen heading into Hannah’s apartment around 9 pm on Thursday night, and Tyler was spotted leaving the apartment at 10 am the next morning. Adding this overnight to the supposed windmill copulation, Hannah has perhaps boned the only two dudes worth boning this season. Great job Hannah! [People]

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In these sweat-soaked days of bad summer, let the shade thrown in this piece about formerly real housewive Kristen Taekman running into her nemesis, currently real housewife Sonja Morgan, cool our torrid brows.

Kristen apparently stumbled, uninvited, upon a party Sonja was hosting at CoCo J’Adore, a restaurant perfectly named for hosting a pettiness competition. Sonja did that thing where you pretend you didn’t see someone you totally saw so you don’t have to wave, according to a bystander who insisted, “Sonja didn’t know she was there.” Google the place. It’s tiny.

But Kristen says that is not how it went down:

“When I arrived . . . someone came up to me and said, ‘Are you dining with Sonja?’ I didn’t know who they were even talking about! But as the night went on, the restaurant got louder and more crowded and then I heard a familiar voice from across the room, and I put two and two together. I was like, ‘Oh, that Sonja!’ ”

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Oh, that Sonja indeed. Well done all round. [Page Six]

  • Some Jenners are divorcing just in time for cameras to catch the drama for reality TV, as is the Jenner way. [ET]
  • Mr. and Mrs. Heidi Klum took their glorious manes for a sail aboard Jackie O’s yacht. [E!]
  • Someone let Kevin Spacey talk and he said gross, self-aggrandizing poetry. [TMZ]
  • Blue Ivy continues to remind all of us that we are squandering what precious sand the hourglass has given by achieving more at seven than we will achieve in a lifetime. [Elle]

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