As someone who has been moderating comments for over two years (and using the internet for about 17), I’ve seen a lot of internet slang fads come and go. But there are some phrases, it seems, that just won’t die:
I’m not going to go so far as to say these phrases should be outright banned (mostly because that never works) nor am I going to deny using any of these phrases at one point or another (everyone has at some point, I’m sure), but lately it seems like it’s getting harder and harder not to feel slightly irritated when coming across one of the following phrases, which seem to have overstayed their welcome by at least four years:
5. “DIAF/Die In A Fire.” This is one of those expressions that people throw out in order to let everyone know just how much they HATE somebody, as dying in a fire is perhaps one of the worst possible ways to die. I really, really hate this expression. I’ve always hated this expression. How did this expression ever get popular? It’s one of those things that is strictly internet-only: if you ever went to some random party and pointed to another human being and said, “That’s Alan. I hope he dies in a fire,” everyone would look at you like you were Patrick Bateman in a dress and then whisper, “That was a bit much, right?” as soon as you hopped off to pet a kitten or talk about American Idol or what have you. And even if you don’t agree with my personal distaste for the phrase (and wish that I, too, would DIAF), you have to at least admit that the phrase is really, really tired. It’s so old and overdone at this point that it’s akin to saying “get bent” or “drop dead” or “stick a rubber hose up your nose” or what have you. I’m not telling you you can’t hate people, internet. God knows I wouldn’t take that away from you. But when your go-to attack phrase is as overused at this one, it probably needs to die, too, in whatever horrible way you can imagine it to.
4. FAIL: “Fail,” as a concept, can be fun. Look at FailBlog! You can easily laugh at whatever dumb/funny stuff gets thrown up there, because it is, in fact, a failure of sorts, but one that finds success in being awful/unusual, and therefore actually ends up winning in some bizarro Bad News Bears kind of way. But “fail” has replaced “awesome” as the word that everyone needs to pull back on by roughly 9000%. Your inability to finish breakfast at the diner last week was not a “Pancake Fail.” Your mascara getting in your hair is not a “Cosmetics Fail.” Fail is catchy and easy to use, which makes it the -ista of internetisms, attached to everything to make it conversationally trendy. You don’t have to give it up completely, but if you’re using FAIL! to scold the government and FAIL! to mock your cat’s inability to piss in the litter box and FAIL! to recall that time you ate a paper clip, the phrase itself kind of loses a bit of power, doesn’t it?
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