Everyone’s so damn afraid of carbs. Over ten years after Dr. Atkins’ New Diet Revolution warned dieters worldwide about the fattening power of the potato, the low-carb revolution is still in full effect. This is insane, because carbs are delicious. Fuck a protein shake, am I right?
Even the BBC has gotten in on the craze; reporting on how low-carb diets are all the rage, they cite Demi Moore and Jennifer Aniston’s willowy frames as triumphs of endless nights of never-ending salad bowls filled with skinless, boneless chicken breasts atop beds of lettuce. Yum, yum?
An unnamed British actor even ALLEGEDLY* has his hotel rooms swept for contraband carbs before entering. Maybe he’s afraid some stray mini-bar Pringles will bust out of their cage and force feed themselves to him? Perhaps the actor is a she — and the she is Gwyneth Paltrow! Seeing as she thinks she’s British, and then there’s this:
Only last week, actress Gwyneth Paltrow provoked the wrath of the dietetic establishment while she was promoting her new low-carb, gluten-free cookbook, by saying she avoids feeding her children bread, rice and pasta.
The thought of being a childhood without Spaghetti O’s makes my fat cells sob.
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