That Lonely Keanu Interview Never Happened

Illustration for article titled That Lonely Keanu Interview Never Happened
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Yesterday all our hearts and hopes were set aflutter with the idea that a lonely Keanu Reeves might have half a sandwich waiting for just the right person to share it on a park bench.

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Well, it was bullshit. Or maybe it wasn’t. A bunch of outlets picked up on an interview Keanu supposedly gave with Malaysia’s Star2.com in which he reportedly said: “You mean romantic love? You know, I’m the lonely guy. I don’t have anyone in my life,” he supposedly said. “But if it does occur, I would respect and love the other person; hopefully it’ll happen for me.”

But now a spokesperson says: “This interview did not happen. This was pieced together from several interviews and the majority of these questions were not asked nor answered. They are fabricated.”

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Okay, but if it was pieced together from a bunch of interviews, does that mean he sort of said it? Just let us have this.

[Huffpost]


The same day Cardi B released “Press,” a song letting us know that Cardi’s good on media coverage, thanks, she was surrounded by cameras as she arrived to appear before a judge in that New York assault case from last September

Two women, a bartender named Jade and her sister Baddie Gi, claim that last August, Cardi ordered an assault on them at the Queens strip club where Jade works. The women allege that they were attacked with bottles and chairs in Cardi’s presence because the rapper believed Jade was sleeping with her husband, Offset, which Jade denies.

In October, Cardi was arrested in connection with the assault, and after Friday’s appearance before the judge, multiple outlets are reporting that the case is going to a grand jury, which means the charges could be upgraded.

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Lawyers for the women say that not only did Cardi commit “violent assaults,” she also “has bragged to multiple people and on social media that she orchestrated these vicious attacks.”

[People]

  • As a former professor from much less prestigious institutions, I am very curious about the syllabus from Harvard’s “Business of Entertainment, Media, and Sports” course Chip and Joanna Gaines will help to instruct next semester. [People]
  • The Real Housewives of New Jersey’s children are now old enough to attend prom together, so they’re probably old enough for a spinoff. [Page Six]

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DISCUSSION

hesterbangs
hester bangs

The same day Cardi B released “Press,” a song letting us know that Cardi’s good on media coverage, thanks, she was surrounded by cameras as she arrived to appear before a judge in that New York assault case from last September.

I’m sorry but are we supposed to feel bad for your girl because of all the press coverage at her latest court appearance, which she was apparently hours late for? And “that New York assault case,” really? Way to downplay an assault on two women, and over a man? I can’t imagine the commentary that would have accompanied this article if it had involved Taylor Swift.

You know what would lessen the press coverage? Not ordering attacks on other women might be a good start. That way she would have more time to keep remaking that same song over and over again.