Taylor and Kanye Had Dinner; the End Is Pretty Goddamn Nigh

I don’t want to alarm you, but I have some frightening news: There is now a fifth horseman of the apocalypse, and it’s Taylor Swift and Kanye West eating together in public on top of a spotted pig. Wait, no, that’s eating at The Spotted Pig. My mistake. THE WORLD IS STILL ENDING.

Cosmopolitan has the goods on what exactly went down at the dinner the two shared last night and while there’s no word on what the two talked about (probably Beyonce and how much they love her), there’s speculation that the conversation was about Kanye and Taylor’s collaboration. There’s also speculation about what the pair had for dinner, but I’m not going to bore you with those details because you’re probably already done reading this and are frantically running around the house screaming and packing provisions to put in your bomb shelter.

Listen, it’s going to be OK. We’re going to get through this together. (It’s a good thing this is the last post of the night, though, because I’ve got to get down to the hardware store and get as many survival kits as i can for, uh…no reason.) (WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.) (Make amends with your loved ones now.)