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Take a Piss On This Ikea Ad to Find Out If You're Pregnant

Image via Vimeo.
Image via Vimeo.

Have you longed for the day when you would be expecting a child? Did you imagine that sacred moment of discovery as a promotional tie-in for an Ikea product that involved sprinkling piss on a magazine? Well. Good news.

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Co. Design reports that Ikea has paired up with Mercene Labs, which specializes in coating strange new surfaces with even stranger chemical compounds. A small box at the bottom of one of Ikea’s advertisements has such a coating, one that will absorb your urine and then reveal to you if you’re pregnant by offering a 50 percent discount on a crib.

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There’s a catch: you still have to sign up for the Ikea Family discount service, no matter how many pee splattered pieces of paper you thrust at an Ikea employee. So, why do this at all? Well, we’re talking about it, aren’t we?

If you’re pregnant and full of urine, you should consider starting a baby crib rip-off ring. You do the peeing, your chain of childless sharps will collect the bounty at the box store. Eventually, you’ll open your own crib store, and put Ikea out of business. Only downside is that you have to be pregnant all the time to provide the goods—or keep it on ice. Motherhood.

Contributing Writer, writing my first book for the Dial Press called The Lonely Hunter, follow me on Twitter @alutkin

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DISCUSSION

justkazari
All Hail the Glow Cloud (aka kazari)

I really need the IKEA Family card to be digital or accessed through a phone number or some shit, because my husband and I never remember to bring the fucking orange card whenever we go to Ikea. I need that free cup of coffee, dammit!!

Also....has anyone actually used an Ikea crib, those just look like they’d break your back every time you have to lean waaaaaaaaay over to pick up your child. Give me cribs with adjustable levels every time. Also being Ikea, it probably doesn’t fit standard crib mattresses anyway. #buyeverythingikea