The odds are such that you've likely seen the news about the Miss Universe pageant. If not, don't worry, pageants remain one of the weirdest things that human beings continue to do to other human beings, so I understand not paying attention.

"Do mice throw up?" and "Any statistics on the lifespan of the abandoned woman?" are some of the less strange questions that librarians at the New York Public Library have been writing down for decades. If you're wondering if people asked about sex, the answer is "yes, absolutely."

You know that feeling you get when you come home to an empty house with nothing but the TV to keep you company and a delicious Swanson dinner with reconstituted brownie in the fridge? Well, your problems are solved. No matter how lonely you are, there's now a chair that will make your life a joy.

I like kids, but one of the biggest challenges I can envision having when I adopt some tiny Marklings of my own (those will be their names and they will have numbers also) is that that they'll come home with an assignment that looks just like this one, with a mistake that turns an innocent word into a mortifying…

Meet the Press used to be the number-one Sunday network news program, but ratings have not been great lately, and the show has slid to number 3 over the past few years. NBC has been taking a closer look at host David Gregory for answers.

I don't know what to think about this. I don't like breeders and I don't like cats, but these spooky lycoi cats are something else. A cat that looks like a werewolf and, according to its Tennessee-based human creators, acts like a dog. I have to admit they are quite cute in their freaky ugliness. Like a reverse evil…

Ugh, classic sheep. No respect for the dead, AS USUAL. A flock of woolly ne'er-do-wells in the small Berkshire village of Grazeley (pUn InTeNdEd BcUz SHEEP!!) have been running wild in the town churchyard, feasting wantonly on flowers and keepsakes left by mourners.

Obviously this is a story out of the UK. It's the Britishiest British story ever Britted. The scene: Coddington, Nottinghamshire. We deal not with a fox wearing a feathered cap and tunic, stealing from the rich to give to the poor, but with a horse chosen to be a bridesmaid. Putting the mare in marriage.

Will the wonders of the Internet never cease to amaze and disgust us? In this week's episode of Bizarre Shit You Buy on Craigslist, some industrious women are selling their positive pregnancy tests to other people online.

I cannot stop watching this man's master class performance of an attacking dog. This is some high-level method acting right here — Bryan Cranston doesn't have anything on this dude. I'm just not sure whether I should laugh, cry, or hide under my bed until this man no longer exists.

And/or our dads. And/or our siblings. Basically: Genetics are wild/highly predictable.

There's a gas station in Madison, WI with a sign that reads "DON'T DIE A VIRGIN TERRORISTS ARE UP THERE WAITING FOR YOU."

A singing sensation who goes by the name Paint sings about the realities of life for Ariel, Jasmine, Belle, and Pocahontas — and it isn't pretty. Belle's verses are classic — PETA would totally be after her creepy animal loving ass. But the charges laid on me! about beastiality! could get me thrown in a cell!

Warning: Some of these plot descriptions are hella sexually graphic.