You want to know how close this election is? Here is how sickeningly, nauseatingly close it is right now, via some projections from the New York Times:
In an office building or a house, one can be long on bathrooms. But in the bustling city, or a town with only a few Starbucks, bathrooms can be few and far between. So what do you do—or do others do—when nature calls, and it’s an emergency?
As a woman slurred in my face last weekend, “It’s the season for rosé!” Close, but not quite: it’s frosé season, pals.
Julianne Hough, her three sisters, and her mom are having an extremely hardcore vacation right now in Mexico, as evidenced by some recent photos that show a couple of them yakking off the side of a boat. My ladies, what happens in Cabo literally never stays in Cabo!
Welcome to Grim Yelp Reviews, a regular feature where we share people’s worst experiences at the worst places. This week: Time to put on your 3D glasses! Oh my God, what’s all over those 3D glasses?
Below me, on the ground, lies a slush of partially digested rehydrated noodles. They look like little wriggly white maggots, moving in the dirt. Either my vision is still blurry from the pain of vomiting, or the fever has finally gotten the best of me, because I swear to god, those suckers are squirming.
Whether from the flu or too much to drink, we all vomit from time to time. What shows character and retains dignity is how we handle the aftermath. Here's how you can recover from puking with grace and elegance.
Scientists seeking to understand the spread of norovirus (a contagion that causes vomiting and diarrhea and spreads via contaminated surfaces) have developed a projectile-vomiting robot to accurately model the splashing of human barf. His name is Vomiting Larry, and he is your new hero:
This morning while Nathan Lane was appearing on The View, a member of the live studio audience started doing what many of us often want to do when we watch at home: She vomited. Fortunately, it had nothing to do with Lane, who was in the middle of talking when he noticed what was happening and stopped to ask the woman…
Our beloved constant companion Rick Santorum took to ABC's This Week with George Stephanopoulos this morning to expound offensively a number of topics, but perhaps his most shining moment was when he took very relevant political force John F. Kennedy to task for his 1960 remarks on the separation of church and state.…
Singer Adele apparently gets nervous before shows: she tells British Vogue, "I puke quite a lot before going on stage. Though never actually on stage." That's a relief. She also tells the magazine,
Millie Brown is a performance artist from London whose art includes vomiting all over the canvas. In her piece titled "Nexus Vomitus," Brown sips on brightly-colored drinks until she sticks a finger down her throat to regurgitate "art," all while opera singers perform a cappella in the background. If there are any…
As we suspected, your worst travel stories involve far more than TSA pat-downs and long tarmac waits. Herewith, your tales of masturbation, voyeurism, and trombones in transit — just in time to make a run-of-the-mill holiday delay feel almost pleasant.
It's 11:30. Normal folks are stirring from their post-Thanksgiving comas and maybe thinking about taking something for that hangover. A strange breed of early-early-ante-meridiem bargain-hunters, however, is surfing a warm accretionary haze, Sam's Club breakfasts and $99.99 tennis bracelets acquired.
Since yesterday's gross stories were a big hit, we're offering up some more. A few also-rans, if you will. Disgusting stuff ahead!
It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the "advice" column in which we attempt to solve everyone's problems with an herbal remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich helps me answer questions about puking, crushing, and dining halls. Got a burning question? Send it to …
We couldn't let our first Fashion Week go by without making some sort of a statement, right? Yeah, well, today that statement shat itself all over the steps leading up to the tents in midtown Manhattan's Bryant Park. At precisely 2pm today, two badass young broads clad in eggplant-hued stewardess outfits sidled up to…