El Chapo Reportedly Had Time for Erectile Disfunction Surgery While on the Run

After escaping from prison last summer, Mexico’s most powerful drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman surely found himself with a busy schedule trying to run the Sinaloa cartel and also stay out of prison. It appears that he also had time to undergo surgery for a testicular implant: as befits a man running a large…

So-Called 'Female Viagra' Is Selling Worse Than Heidi Montag's Debut Album 

If you haven’t yet heard of Addyi, the controversial new drug that’s supposed to boost female libido, you’re not alone. Unlike with Viagra, which sold like erections were a finite resource when it debuted in 1998, no one’s been rushing pharmacies to get their hands on the little pink pill. Since its release in…

The Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Divorce Has Now Gone on 8,000 Times Longer than Their Actual Marriage

Seriously. Check the math. (DON'T CHECK THE MATH.) Unfortunately, it is also 8,000,000,000 times more boring than their actual marriage—which was, statistically, the most boring human activity in recorded memory. Anyhoo, Kim Kardashian is still trying to get the divorce finalized, but Kris Humphries refuses to…