Taylor Swift Trademarked 'This Sick Beat™,' Entire™ English™ Language™

Taylor Swift is one of those public figures who, much like Barack Obama or that dweeb Ross on Friends, tends to bring out very extreme opinions in people. To her defenders, I offer this: Taylor seems nice! To her detractors: Yes, you are right! She's an actual crazy person! Case in point, she's recently started …

Jay Z and Beyonce Fail to Trademark 'Blue Ivy' So Don't Expect Your Official Bey Z Onesie Anytime Soon

Did you hear that? It sounded like a bumper of a Benz smashing against the bumper of a Bentley. Or maybe it sounded more like a handful of gold coins being angrily thrown at courtside Brooklyn Nets seats. While the noise may be hard to classify, it's easy to determine its source — that, my friends, is the sound of two…