Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we notice that all of today’s tabloids are for the week of December 20 and get really sad that the holiday season is almost over and we haven’t watched all the movies we’ve been meaning to watch, like The Family Stone and Home Alone and Christmas Vacation and, when we’re feeling like…
Welcome back to Midweek Madness where this week, Kim Kardashian is either divorcing the spotlight or Kanye West (depending on which tabloid you ask), Angelina Jolie is desperately missing Brad, and a group of women—Leah Remini, Nicole Kidman, and Katie Holmes—are coming together to ruin Tom Cruise and the Church of…
Welcome to Midweek Madness where this week, Bobby is on vacation GOD KNOWS WHERE (JK, he’s sleeping outside Rita Ora’s house), and I forgot to get access to his scanner and was forced to beg my office mates to help me scan a photo of Elle Fanning standing shoeless on an escalator.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we pick up copies of OK!, In Touch, Life & Style, and Star, take them to the cashier, pay for all four, get to work, and realize they hadn’t switched out the In Touch’s from last week’s and that we sort of got screwed by paying for it again.
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where this week Adele, Beyoncé, and Kate Middleton are ALL having babies, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s split is only getting dirtier, and the tabloids—desperate to keep Jennifer Aniston looking jealous and heartbroken—have invented a love triangle between the Friends star, her…
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we read the headline “JOHN & KELLY: INSIDE THEIR BIZARRE MARRIAGE” and start laughing to ourselves in public. This week, Angelina Jolie is a freakin’ liar, John Travolta and Kelly Preston are freakin’ weirdos, and William and Kate are freakin’ King and Queen.
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where this week all the tabloids are speculating on the Kardashian Paris robbery, Brad just wants to see his kids, and Bennifer 2.0 are either adopting a baby or one of them is hooking up with Taylor Swift! Allons-y, mes amis!
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where the tabloids are still horny as a dolphin in an isolation tank for Brangelina gossip. This week, we discover that our magazine store has just opened a new location a block away from the old one that is a tiny bit smaller than the old one, but has an entire row of candy! Also bongs and…
In this week’s Midweek Madness, Angelina Jolie is a PR mastermind who filed for divorce too late in the week for the tabloids to cover the story so instead we’re focusing on the made-up breakups of Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux and Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Call up Laura Wasser, dear readers—it’s time we…
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where the four major cover stories today alternate between conscious coupling and conscious uncoupling. On Team ‘We’re Finished,’ we’ve got Jessica Biel, Justin Timberlake, Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie. On Team ‘I Still Love You,’ we’ve got Katie Holmes, Jamie Foxx, Ben Affleck, and…
Welcome to Midweek Madness. Bobby Finger, your usual intrepid guide through the tabloids, is on vacation in Italy so I have to do it instead. (And I’m doing it a day late! This is already a mess.) In this week’s ‘bloids, Bobby has biked the walls around Lucca, made a nonsensical joke about the David (“I’ll have what…
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we don’t go to our original magazine store, our recently shuttered backup magazine store, or the second backup magazine store that’s close to the office but only has the tabloids 30 percent of the time, and instead try something a little different because it’s Senior Week.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we avoid the increasingly batshit real-life political news by reading untrue batshit news about celebrities! This week, Kelly Ripa is the Queen of Mean, Jennifer Garner is the Queen of Serene, and Julia Roberts is the Queen of I’m Gonna Divorce Your Ass So Hard, Buddy.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we fill up an Olympic-sized pool with clippings about Taylor Swift being revealed as a liar and do laps for hours and hours until our bodies are unable to do one more breast stroke and we sink to the bottom and become the first person in history to drown in glossy paper.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we can’t believe it’s only Wednesday because, good Lord, so much has happened in the gossip world since Monday morning. This week, JonBenét is in the news again, Meg Ryan is in the news again, Miranda Lambert is in the news again, and Kate Middleton is pregnant again.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we decide to get National Enquirer instead of some of the other rags because a reader requested it last week and it feels good to grant a wish. This week, Miley is pregnant in the U.S.A., Portia dumped Ellen, and Eva married Ryan.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we learn from our mistakes and return to the traditional format after a well-intentioned though poorly executed attempt at a tabloid Q&A. This week, Mila Kunis is pregnant with twins, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are THIS close to getting a divorce, and JonBenet Ramsey is incapable of…
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we honestly cannot take any precious time to write a satisfactory introduction because there is something super important we need to discuss. This week, Tom is leaving his church, Jennifer Aniston is preg, and the best story of all time.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we think we know, but—in fact—we have no idea. This week, Amber Heard is pregnant with Johnny Depp’s baby, Khloe Kardashian is pregnant with ????’s baby, Prince Harry is moving to the States, and Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are leaving their spouses...for each other?!?!?!?!
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we buy three tabloids because the goss is too depressing to read four times in a row.
