Welcome to Shit I Bought, a column where we recap the life-changing beauty and fashion purchases of various staffers—and also just stuff we bought on a whim.

A panel of 14 judges in Taiwan has ruled that current laws preventing same sex unions deny LGBTQ people their right to equality, and are therefore unconstitutional. While a landmark decision, it’s unclear if it will result in the legalization of gay marriage.

On Tuesday, a Taiwanese politician had 50 strippers dancing on top of Jeeps with special poles attached to the roof for his funeral procession. Is that enough strippers for a funeral though?

Bob Dole played an instrumental role in securing the phone call between Donald Trump and Taiwanese President Tsai Ing-wen last week, a privilege for which the Taiwanese government paid at least $140,000.

What great fortune for Donald Trump, whose ascendancy to president-elect has landed him in a series of meetings that mysteriously correlate to business deals he and his family are trying to land.

I think it’s safe to say that Secretary of State John Kerry has not had the most tranquil of weekends. On Friday evening, we learned that PEOTUS and leering brillo pad Donald Trump had made an ill-advised call to the president of Taiwan, thereby imperiling our delicate diplomatic relations with China. China considers…

We still have seven weeks until the inauguration of an off-brand Miracle Mop after a Fanta accident and yet already he’s getting us into position to... well, destabilize our relations with world powers, including those with nuclear capabilities!

Despite appearances, this panda has not been kidnapped and held for ransom. Taiwan’s Taipei Zoo is just trying to debunk rumors that their beloved Tuan Tuan has met with an untimely death. He’s fine!

Tsai Ing-wen, the candidate leading the Taiwanese Democratic Progressive Party, has been elected as president of Taiwan. The U.S.-educated former law professor is the first woman to hold office.

Because we women just love all things shoes, local officials in the Taiwan city of Jiayi have decided to build a church in the shape of a giant blue high heel. They believe the flashy structure will lure women to the house of worship. Totally makes sense.

For a December 8 marathon, organizers in Keelung, Taiwan hired a “ghost” to scare runners into faster race times. Hello, it me: the Taiwan Marathon Ghost. Here to scare you through your toughest of times.

Two weeks ago, a heroic doctor delivered a baby while 30,000 feet in the air, on a flight from Taiwan to Los Angeles. This week, reports say that the Taiwanese woman whose labor diverted the plane to Alaska may be on the hook for $33,000. That’s because she may have planned to give birth in American airspace in order…