Rudy Giuliani Concerned About Dead People Voting for Hillary Clinton

Rudy Giuliani, head advisor to Donald Trump and taxidermic gopher, is fretting over the slim but mighty corpse voter contingency. On Sunday, he told CNN’s Jake Tapper that the election could tip in Hillary Clinton’s favor due to corrupt voting practices—keeping dead people registered, for instance—in the inner cities.

Ben Carson: Investigate Muslim Group Attending the State of the Union for 'Civilization Jihad'

Ben Carson doesn’t hate Muslims, per se—he just doesn’t think one should be president, he’s pretty sure they’re all going to sharia us in our sleep, and a Muslim civil liberties organization shouldn’t be allowed to attend the State of the Union and should be investigated for possible jihad. That’s all.