āAmericans love their country,ā Donald Trump said during his first State of the Union address, āand they deserve a Government that shows them the same love and loyalty in return.ā The government, Trump suggested, has abandoned the American people with years of anti-American policies, leaving us desperate andā¦
Tonight we will be subjected to a word stir-fry (Trump would never have anything to do with a salad) of nationalistic, xenophobic, dog-whistle prose, delivered by our reluctant president, a congealed adult-shaped mound of the grease run-off collected by a George Foreman grill.
Tune in tonight as my colleagues enjoy (my word, not theirs) Trumpās State of the Union address.
A handful of Democratic House members have invited sexual assault survivors as their guests to the State of the Union address at the end of this month.
Rudy Giuliani, head advisor to Donald Trump and taxidermic gopher, is fretting over the slim but mighty corpse voter contingency. On Sunday, he told CNNās Jake Tapper that the election could tip in Hillary Clintonās favor due to corrupt voting practicesākeeping dead people registered, for instanceāin the inner cities.
Tonight President Obama gives his final State of the Union address. Which Obama will we get? Inspirational Obama, frustrated Obama, or IDGAF Obama? Hopefully the latter. And judging by Obamaās social media previews, it will likely be IDGAF Obama:
Barack Obama will deliver the last State of the Union of his presidency this evening, and the internet is expecting that shit to be lit. Not just because weāre hoping he uses the opportunity to finally let her rip, valedictorian speech-style, but also because he teased this thing with a Hollywood blockbuster styleā¦
Ben Carson doesnāt hate Muslims, per seāhe just doesnāt think one should be president, heās pretty sure theyāre all going to sharia us in our sleep, and a Muslim civil liberties organization shouldnāt be allowed to attend the State of the Union and should be investigated for possible jihad. Thatās all.
On Tuesday night, for the last time, President Obama will address the state of the union under his presidency. The anti-gay Family Research Council has made sure that Kim Davis will be in the audience, along with her lawyer, Mat Staver of the equally disturbed-by-gayness Liberty Council.
Michelle and Barack Obama have invited Refaai Hamo, a Syrian scientist featured on Humans of New York, to sit in the First Ladyās box during Tuesdayās State of the Union address.
Earlier today, Speaker Paul Ryan and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announced that South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley will deliver the Republican rebuttal to this yearās State of the Union address. During the announcement Ryan and McConnell commended Haleyās tenure as governor, pointing to her economic record.
On Sundayās State of the Union, Senator Elizabeth Warren spoke to CNN anchor Jake Tapper about Planned Parenthood and the GOPās fight to end funding, saying Republicans are going to have āa real fightā if they want to shut down access to cancer screenings for women.
Supreme Court Justice and flawless living goddess Ruth Bader Ginsburg admitted that she may have been napping a little during President Obama's State of the Union address, but it wasn't because she was bored. It's because prior to the speech she'd been drinking a "very fine California wine."
Last night, Iowa Senator Joni Ernst put us all firmly to sleep with a gentle fairytale about our glorious new life in Tea Party America. Rep. Carlos Curbelo, a Florida Republican, was set to deliver an almost identical Spanish-language version of Ernst's speech (minus the stuff about being a humble farm girl).ā¦
In President Obama's milquetoast State of the Union address last night, we learnedāas my colleague Anna so succinctly put itāthat being conciliatory works for no one. As it turns out, both of the Obamas have been drinking that placatory kool-aid. Michelle, what is with the Michael Kors?!?
Iowa senator and hog castrating enthusiast Joni Ernst delivered tonight's Republican response to the State of the Union standing in the Armed Services Committee Room and wearing camouflage heels for subtlety. Ernst elected not to respond to the SOTU at all, instead delivering something between a belated campaign adā¦
My fellow Americans, welcome to Jezebel's State of the Union liveblog.
Are you sitting by your phone? Good, because it's possible that First Lady Michelle Obama is trying to reach you right now to invite you to sit in her box at tomorrow's State of the Union Address. She's asking ordinary citizens whose letters have touched her the chance to meet her and the president and her camp hasā¦
Columbia University senior Emma Sulkowicz - who gained attention last year for carrying around the mattress on which her alleged 2012 sexual assault took place - is headed to the State of the Union address.
Iowa junior Senator Joni Ernst, who rose to national prominence by working a record number of castration double entendres into an early campaign ad (Respect!), will be delivering the GOP's State of the Union rebuttal. This is fucking amazing news.
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