For years, I have been starved for news—any news—related to the short-lived and somewhat under-the-radar 2009 Bravo reality show NYC Prep, which followed a group of awkward, painfully privileged uptown kids pretending to care about cleft palates for their college applications. Today, my friends, we have been given…
The Washington Post reports that three military personnel are facing allegations of “improper contact with foreign women” while traveling on President Trump’s recent Asia trip. The Defense Department has confirmed that an investigation into behavior of personnel on that trip is underway.
Donald Trump loves traveling, maintaining a lot of properties, sending his kids abroad on Very Important business trips, and living separately from his wife. This means the people charged with keeping him and his family alive are stretched a little thin, and have had issues getting paid for it. Now the Secret Service…
Guarding Vice President Mike Pence, a hollow gourd filled with asbestos fibers, is probably a tedious slog of watching him eat dinner with Mother night after night. A member of his Secret Service entourage is now in trouble for doing something the Pence family definitely frowns upon.
According to internal agency documents obtained by the Washington Post, the US Secret Service has requested an additional $60 million in funding to better protect a man who, with every ill-advised tweet, colors in another ring in the target painted on America’s face.
Before the election, crusty Jello mold Donald Trump employed an enormous group of aggressive private security officers, even after he was granted Secret Service protection. As president-elect, he is still employing an an enormous group of aggressive private security officers, headed by a guy who, in the span of one…
Jean-Paul Sartre theorized hell is other people, which this election has certainly proved true, but a new report suggests the truest incarnation of hell has already revealed itself to a small group of men and women tasked with keeping people like Donald Trump alive—they’re not even getting paid for all of it.
BuzzFeed’s Charlie Warzel is on the ground outside the site of Trump’s Ohio rally, where people are apparently both waiting in line to get in and getting off line to hide their contraband.
Bernie Sanders has a team of Secret Service agents who go with him everywhere. They protect him from potential enemy threat, and also rabid supporters who want a lock of his hair.
The Secret Service has been forced to tell everybody that no, they won’t allow guns on the floor of the Republican National Convention this July. More than 45,000 people have signed a Change.org petition to be allowed to open-carry at the RNC. The petition, from the looks of the creator’s Twitter feed, is likely a…
Weeks after grousing that the Secret Service was refusing to protect him due to his Republicanism, both aggravated giant duckling Donald Trump and fellow front-runner Ben Carson have been assigned Secret Service security details. Someone needed to think through Ben Carson’s name just a touch longer.
The Department of Homeland Security has not yet assigned a Secret Service security detail to your next president and ruler for life, Donald Trump. Big mistake. Yooge. Because Trump will complain about it for several weeks to anyone in earshot before submitting the request in writing he actually needs to submit to get…
The Secret Service has apologized after herding hundreds of parents and children out of Washington DC’s Lafayette Square on Saturday evening, where they were attempting to hold a candlelight vigil for childhood cancer. That is cold, even for them.
Jeff Gullickson was very upset when Obama joined Twitter. So upset, in fact, that he immediately fired off a few tweets to let the President know exactly what he thought of him and his policies. Now, the Minnesota man is out of a job and being called a racist, which he says is a mistake. According to Gullickson, his…
The Department of Justice released a report on Thursday slamming the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) for throwing "sex parties" with sex workers hired by Colombian drug cartels. Sounds like a real conflict of interest.
Last night, the Washington Post reported that the White House is much more involved in the Secret Service's Cartagena prostitution scandal than they're letting on. And it's all over some Ivy League 25-year-old volunteer whose father gave a five-figure amount of money to Obama campaign. Paging Olivia Pope.
On Monday, invalid human Laura Ingraham indicated that she believed the White House's current security issues are due to the fact that Secret Service Director Julia Pierson was hired for being a woman and not for being a qualified human. But Pierson's gender identity is prompting even sometimes more levelheaded…
A toddler who wrangled his way through a fence at the White House caused a brief lock down on Thursday.
In what must have been a security nightmare for the Secret Service, Malia Obama attended the Lollapalooza music festival this weekend in Chicago.
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