Welcome to Midweek Madness, where FUCK it’s only Wednesday.

Norm Macdonald is getting his own Netflix show because David Letterman felt sorry for him—why, I cannot be sure. And, because sympathy must be paid forward, Norm MacDonald feels sorry for Louis C.K. and Roseanne Barr—two people who do not need anyone’s sympathy, as evidenced by recent actions. As you know, both C.K.…

Since America can’t seem to appreciate Roseanne Barr’s hilarious racism, she plans to start toting her bigoted charms around a new country—Israel. How nice for them!

ABC’s Roseanne spinoff The Conners will lurch forward without its Twitter-happy star, and John Goodman, who plays Dan, says the plan is to kill her off. He sounds pretty broken up about it:

R.I.P. Roseanne, America’s relatable sitcom mom, who was finally buried alive this week in a pile of cigarette ash and series of blood-curdling screams.

Fire up the morning with this footage, and you will feel as though you just mainlined 17 espressos and also five pounds of coke!! I have seen few things more terrifying than a disheveled Roseanne ripping a butt, groaning, wincing, covering her face, and then bellowing:

Now that Roseanne’s set to re-reboot without its disgraced star, Roseanne Barr appears to be embarking on a bit of an apology tour. On Sunday, podcaster Rabbi Shmuley Boteach released an interview he conducted with Barr a day after ABC fired her for comparing former Obama advisor Valerie Jarrett to an “ape” in a…

Tiffany Haddish is a truthsayer of the modern era: She’ll name names (for the most part), she’ll tell it like it is, and perhaps because she remains so lovable and charming, she’s not worried about how it lands. In short, she’s not afraid to put it all out there—not even when she’s on the cover of The Hollywood…

In the wake of the cancellation of Roseanne, ABC has been doing everything in their power to resurrect it. Their latest attempt: a spinoff featuring Darlene.

Roseanne “I am now quitting Twitter” Barr is anything but. Who knows, perhaps the weak, egomaniacal comment from our freaking president emboldened her or something. In any case, she just needed a few hours to gather her thoughts, then continue to fuel this nightmare news cycle.

Look, it’s not that hard. Roseanne Barr lost her show, the eponymous Roseanne, because of a racist tweet. But as she revealed in another, now-deleted tweet late Tuesday night, Barr only made that horribly racist joke about former Obama advisor Valerie Jarrett in the first place because she was out of her mind on…

Valerie Jarrett, once a senior advisor in the Obama administration, has commented on Roseanne Barr’s extremely bad and racist tweet, of which Jarrett was the target, and over which Barr has subsequently been cancelled. Or at least her show finally was. Roseanne reruns? Likewise: canceled.

Surprising no one, some Fox News anchors have already swooped in to defend Roseanne Barr after a racist Twitter rant led to the cancelation of her shitty ABC reboot that the world or at least I did not ask for.

By 3:30 AM EST on Friday morning, the Twitter storm “Roseanne Barr v. Stormy Daniels” rumbled across social media, sparked by shit-flinging over anal sex, sweeping up a whirlwind of misogyny, and ending in thunderous clap black. Patricia Arquette and Chrissy Teigen were there. Accounts have been suspended, and tweets…

After learning that the premiere of ABC’s Roseanne revival drew 18.2 million viewers, and that its protagonist was a loud and proud supporter of our current president, Donald Trump picked up the phone and gave the show’s creator and star, Roseanne Barr, a ring.

For about 20 minutes of airtime, the first episode of the Roseanne reboot played catch-up. Arguing its relevance, it crammed in references to cultural touchstones that occurred in the 21 or so years the show was off the air. There were jokes about Obamacare, Harry Potter and 50 Shades of Grey, taking a knee, female…

When ABC broadcast the series finale of Roseanne in 1997, it seemed pretty clear that John Goodman’s character, Dan Conner, was—and hope I’m not spoiling anything here—dead. So when it was reported in May that the series had been greenlit for an eight-episode reboot, well, it raised some questions.

ABC has confirmed that the rumored Roseanne reboot has been greenlit for an eight-episode run to begin next year. Deadline reports that John Goodman has been cast to return, which maybe means that Dan didn’t die after all, as was revealed on the series finale. Or maybe Dan is dead and he’s just...come back, as they…

Roseanne Barr wants you to smoke a bowl with her at her new medical marijuana shop, opening soon in California. Can’t you hear her laugh already?