The ideal roast joke is as clever as it is tasteless; failing that, most settle for just tasteless. (I would actually argue that the ideal roast joke is silent, because ugh roasts, but I’m not here to pick apart an entire cherished medium.)

It’s no stretch to say that Jezebel would not have functioned over the past four years without the firm-yet-loving guidance of our Deputy Editor, Kate Dries. Our staff is, for lack of a better term, toddler savants who often get derailed by our own idiocy during the workday. And like a patient, no-bullshit, working…