Rents may fall and rents may rise (and rise and rise and rise), but one thing that is fixed about living in New York City, and has been ever since the colonizers came here on their dirty-ass boats, is that you’re cohabiting with rats.
In extremely local news, a rat infestation is slowly devouring Montague Street in Brooklyn Heights, according to a report from the Brooklyn Eagle. I asked neighborhood residents, my mother and her boyfriend, to confirm. “Yes,” they say.
Too much trash out here. Too much stuff. The world is a factory, a vapid assembly line from warehouse to apartment to trash to dump to a carpet of plastic shit in the ocean. Too much shit, everywhere. You know why? Humans are animals and try to fill their stupid existential voids by charging everything on credit.
What if I told you you could sip a latte and stare at a blank Final Draft page while surrounded by rats? You’d say, of course you can—at every single coffee shop in New York. But now you can also do it in San Francisco.
Magic in the form of a wily rodent dubbed “Pizza Rat” waltzed into our lives last fall, causing even the coldest hearts to be charmed by his carb-loving antics. He was soon joined by brothers-in-arms such as “Selfie Rat” and most recently, “Rat Rat.” But what if everything you knew about Pizza Rat and his comrades was…
Margot Robbie, 24-year-old star of the upcoming Suicide Squad, is the proud mama of a pet rat, and it’s all thanks to Jared Leto. Leto, who plays the Joker in the film, gave all his co-stars a gift before shooting to help him “get into character.” Robbie was lucky enough to receive “a nice love letter with a black box…
In order for the plague to come back full force and kill all of us with festering boils, three things are needed: A carrier, a transmitter and a pathogen. It may be too early to panic, but a new study reveals that New York City has two of the three components necessary to make a really good Criminal Minds episode.
Sounds like history teachers might owe rats a big apology this morning: A team of researchers is now arguing that they were not, in fact, guilty of spreading the devastating bubonic plague across medieval Europe. It's just like My Cousin Vinny!
Chicago's rats are getting contraception.
As our brother site Gawker has diligently reported, Condé Nast's office has a rat infestation. This is pretty common with new buildings, though it might seem at odds with the "new" nature of them; rats get in during construction, which gives the critters a significant amount of time to claim their turf before people…
Courtesy the song "Welcome To New York," Taylor Swift has been named "NYC's Global Welcome Ambassador for Tourism," making one wonder if the song was just a super-genius Bloombergian scheme hatched by Swift and the tourism board to promote 1989 and also all those fugnacious condos they keep letting people build.
Listen, Husky, I know you've been hurt before, but you need to let down that guard and let someone love you. Even if that someone is a super creepy red-eyed inanimate rat Halloween decoration.
Ah, Paris. City of light. City of love. City of rats.
A new study indicates that rodents are influenced by the scent of the sex of the researcher studying them, a finding that has could have big ramifications for numerous studies where animals are used.
Important announcement: I've just hopped out of my DeLorean after a disastrous visit to the future and thought I should tell you what I saw there. No, it wasn't hover boards and sneakers that lace themselves. It was rats. Huge fucking rats everywhere you go and — guess what? — they run everything.
A Swedish couple is making international headlines after witnessing the slow, agonizing death of a 16-inch rat that a trap could not kill. A SIXTEEN INCH RAT THAT A TRAP COULD NOT KILL. CUNTING SHIT GUYS. GREAT BOUNCING CHRISTBALLS. I'M GOING TO FAINT.
Do you like cake? Are you one of those people who never got over childhood birthday parties and the sweet, smoky smell of snuffed candles mingling with buttercream icing? If you murmured "yes" to your computer, then the next sentence you read will horrify you and quite possibly turn you into a PIE person. An old…
If you're in New York and wondering what the rat content of your block (and possibly your home) is, The New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene has a handy map for you to check out.
I am this rat. You are this rat. We are all this rat.
Another day, another bestiality lawsuit involving Jay Leno.
