A rare collection of Queen Elizabeth II’s childhood effects—baby clothes and dolls—have made their way into an auction. The dolls in particular will haunt your nightmares for weeks to come.

Netflix has dropped a trailer for Season 2 of The Crown, due out in December. And as the show’s events race toward the 1960s, it’s impossible to watch the trailer without thinking: Dammit, why didn’t they just make this show about Princess Margaret?

Late Wednesday night, reports of a late-night meeting at Buckingham Palace spurred a frenzy of tweets regarding the aged consort of Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Philip. Had he shuffled off this mortal coil? Nope. But he is stepping down from his gig as, as he describes it, “the world’s most experienced plaque unveiler.”

If you have any doubt about the thoroughness with which Queen Elizabeth II has quietly, stubbornly woven herself into England’s national fabric: John Lydon, a.k.a. Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols, the band that recorded “Anarchy in the U.K.” and the irreverent “God Save the Queen,” admitted recently that he’ll…

Buckingham Palace—which is apparently a complete wreck underneath all the gilt and lovely furniture—will get a $458 million renovation over the next decade. You know, to stave off the possibility of a “potentially catastrophic building failure.” A perfect opportunity to add some shiplap!

Queen Elizabeth II visited a grocery store yesterday. There have been weddings less thoroughly documented than this 90-year-old woman’s weekday stroll through a Waitrose.

One of Queen Elizabeth’s last remaining corgis has died. Pour one out for 13-year-old Holly, a very good dog.

Specifically, you’ll have to clean her stuff.

In a couple of weeks, Orlando will play host to the 2016 Invictus Games, an international athletic competition for injured vets founded by Prince Harry and with which he is very involved. To drum up enthusiasm, Harry is publicly beefing with the Obamas on Twitter.

Today is Queen Elizabeth II’s 90th birthday. Wherever she goes, there are enthusiasts swathed in flags and sporting extreme hats and toting the occasional dog, and so naturally, there was quite a crowd waiting outside Windsor Castle Thursday morning to wish her well.

In the new issue of Cosmopolitan, cover star Scarlett Johannson broaches the increasingly trendy (in a GOOD way) topic of wage disparity. Though the actress supports the fight for equal pay, she herself does not like talking about it.

In 1957, Queen Elizabeth II visited America. That visit included an impromptu stop at a Maryland supermarket. Here you see her at the meat counter, wearing an enormous fur coat and listening to an assistant manager describe a cut of meat.

Your morning cereal will look especially sad once you know that Queen Elizabeth II’s corgis are probably, this very moment, chowing down on steak served in a fancy dish.

I know Handbook For Nannies Fired From Their Jobs Due To Alleged Affairs With Daddies doesn’t exist, but Christine Ouzounian should consider writing it. She’s appeared on the covers of tabloids for weeks, nearly every American [who follows celebrity gossip] knows her name, she recently acquired a new Lexus, and we’ve…