What a terrible time to be alive. Except for today. Because it is Midweek Madness, Jezebel’s weekly tabloid roundup where People tries to gavage les Gaines down my gullet like one of them mistreated geese.
The last of Queen Elizabeth’s famous corgis has died—really this time.
Call me Barf Hag. For I am but a hag… and this? Is my bag.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where FUCK it’s only Wednesday.
On Friday outside of Buckingham Palace, the British Army’s Band of the Welsh Guards paid tribute to the Queen by performing her song “Respect.” In addition to the nod to the ocean-spanning power of Aretha Franklin, it’s satisfying to watch a band of unflappable men in bearskin hats playing a female empowerment anthem.…
A thought exercise I often enjoy is considering which of life’s unpleasantries can be escaped by occupying a high enough rung on the socioeconomic ladder. I think about this most often with regard to the Royal Family, a set of people who from birth have been treated to the highest quality of everything, from breakfast…
Meghan Markle’s favorite food is pasta. Queen Elizabeth II is 92 years old and steers clear of starchy foods. By the ironclad natural laws of the tabloids, these two facts are fundamentally at odds and the pair are now AT WAR!
Queen Elizabeth I’s lack of heirs hung over her reign like a cloud and contributed to her rivalry with her cousin, Mary, Queen of Scots, whose son followed her onto the throne. This trailer, on the other hand, will birth a spider-like number of progeny in the form of memes, crawling all over your timeline.
The royal wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle resembles nothing so much as a franchise reboot, or perhaps the 12th season of a reality TV show you haven’t watched for years but they’ve got new twists and you want to get back in. First, though, you need a refresher on cast members new and old.
Prince Harry—nay, the world entire—will have truly lucked out when Meghan Markle finally joins the Royal Family at her wedding this May. Per three recent reports from People, the American Princess-in-Training and former star of USA’s Suits is even more astonishing than any of us had previously realized.
Who runs the show in the royal nursery? Rhetorical question. We’ve known since at least the 2016 balloon arch incident that it’s Princess Charlotte, and Queen Elizabeth II has just provided additional corroboration. And who better to judge than England’s longest-reigning monarch?
If you’ve watched even one tiny second of The Crown, Netflix’s sweeping costume drama about the life and times of Queen Elizabeth II, then you’ve tried to speak in Queen Elizabeth’s plummy, posh, fancy-as-fuck accent more times than you’d like to mention.
The Crown—a lavishly produced tale of the world’s most frustrating family business—returns for its second season come December. What to expect? Judging from this trailer, lots of angst about changing times, several egos the the size of Siberia, and some absolutely killer midcentury fashion.
Diana, Princess of Wales, was the most famous woman of the late twentieth century, and August 31 is the two-decade anniversary of her death. Consequently, the media business on both sides of the Atlantic plans to spend the next few weeks in a total, shameless scramble for ratings.
It is officially summer. You probably already knew that and I’m not sure what you’ll do with that information if you didn’t but I felt it needed to be said. This means we’re almost halfway through 2017 and I plan on spending the next few months preserving my strength so I can make it over the finish line. Let’s see…
Elizabeth II, queen of the United Kingdom, has honored Cate Blanchett, queen of the dramatic arts.
On Sunday, British Prime Minister Theresa May announced that suffragist Millicent Garrett Fawcett will be honored with a statue in London’s Parliament Square. She will be the first woman to join the ranks of those commemorated there.
Queen Elizabeth II has been monarch so long that a sovereign’s death is unprecedented in the memories of many Britons, and the world has changed so immensely in the decades since the funeral of George VI that her passing will require a whole new playbook. But you’d better believe they do have a detailed plan,…
Bloody monarchy. Who needs it? Not this toddler, apparently.
