And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Today is July 4th, if that means anything to you!
For a limited time, Budweiser is replacing the signature “Budweiser” label on its packaging with “America,” in the name of beautiful branded patriotism.
Today in What a Time to Be Alive: an as yet unidentified man celebrated New Year’s Eve by prowling around the Vestavia Hills house of Jersey Belle’s Danielle Yancey. In honor of the occasion, he wore nothing but a mask of former president Ronald Reagan and a sock to cover his naughty bits.
When last we heard from Rudy Giuliani, he was saying pretty stupid things. Less than 24 hours later, he decided to do damage control by saying more stupid things. And now he's gone from being stupid and mildly racist to full-on idiotic and racist in an attempt to do even more damage control/get more attention. Stop.
Just in time for Fourth of July, we have the perfect video to sum up everything you are feeling about America today.
How's this for a Downworthy headline? Earlier this week, the conservative Heritage Foundation sponsored a panel discussion on #Benghazi and a Muslim woman wearing a headscarf asked the panelists a question. What happened next will truly fulfill every negative conservative stereotype you can imagine.
It's a rare day that I can get behind anything Sarah Palin does, which is why it's so remarkable that I find myself supporting the tacky-as-fuck stripper heels that she wore while hosting a breakfast for the Television Critics Association's winter press tour, like, 100%.
A young spectator shields her eyes from the sun with an American flag during a Memorial Day wreath laying at the Franklin D. Roosevelt Four Freedoms Park on Roosevelt Island, Monday, May 27, 2013, in New York. (AP Photo/John Minchillo)
I like to think of myself as a fairly accomplished shouter of songs. The other week, for example, I accurately sang probably 75% of the notes to Celine Dion's The Power of Love while in the shower, and the other day I sang the part of Cabaret about goin' like Elsie without my voice cracking/glass shattering. Glee…
The only thing most of us know about Callista Gingrich is that she has a frighteningly perfect blonde bob—well, that and she was totally happy to be lying in bed with her lover Newt while he talked on the phone to his wife. Now that they're legit in the eyes of God, she's always at Newt's side during events, yet she…
Because the state of Mississippi has not been embarrassed enough by the shenanigans of its lawmakers, one of the Jackson's finest has introduced a bill to the state legislature that would change the name of the Gulf of Mexico... to the Gulf of America. I bet he also drives a truck that shoots flames from its tailpipe.
Scientists have found that Fourth of July celebrations may affect kids' politics later in life, even turning them into Republicans! God. What, with eye-gouging sparklers and hand-disfiguring backyard fireworks, wasn't this holiday dangerous enough?
Crazypants Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann told Chris Matthews on Hardball that she wishes the "American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out if they are pro-America or anti-America," implying that all liberals are some level of anti-American. In the wake of what…