Naomi Campbell Has "Pancake Bosoms," Rihanna Has "Saucer Nips" And Kristin Cavallari "Ruins" Pictures By Wearing A Bra

Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we accuse gossip bloggers of Crimes Against Womanity. We do this because the gossip industry is sexist, and only getting worse. These people are paid to write "gossip" but, 99% of the time, the words they use to go with celebrity pictures denigrate, critique, belittle and…

"[Alli Sims] Is So Fuckin' Doughy You Wouldn't Be Surprised If You Walked In On Britney Trying To Eat Her Leg"

Welcome back to our weekly examination of the Crimes Against Womanity committed by gossip bloggers and the virtual wristslaps we issue out to our grammatically and creatively-challenged web friends. In this edition, we give Alli Sims (Britney's former assistant and aspiring pop-star), Brooke Hogan, Jennifer Garner,…

"She Looks Like Pocahontas, So If You're Thinking About Raping Her, You Can Say It Was Just For A History Project"

Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. This week, "boys want" Christina Aguilera's boobs, someone would like to slice Lily Allen's belly and someone else offers rape tips. Another great week of "writing" "gossip" on the Internet!…