I've Had It Up to Here With the Milks
Reader, I come to you exhausted. I come to you with my head in my hands, at my wit’s end. And all because there are…
Christina Aguilera Offensively Promotes Milk
As part of what looks to be a long promotional tease for her next album—her first in six years—Christina Aguilera has…
Check Out These Dribbling Nazi Milkboys
He Will Not Divide Us, an anti-Trump performance art project created by Shia Labeouf with the Museum of the Moving…
Dairy Farmers Think Your Almond Milk Can Fuck Right Off
Next time you reach for almond milk in the supermarket, imagine a chorus of dairy farmers standing behind you, asking…
Surprise: That 'Human Breast Milk' You Bought Online Contains Cow Milk
Researchers tested samples of online-purchased breast milk for a study that was published in Pediatrics this week. The…
Oldest Person in the World Turns 117
Misao Okawa just became the world's oldest person, punching in her time card on Earth at 117 years. This woman is one…
Adults Should Not Be Drinking Milk
Fact: Milk is for babies and children. If you are an adult—i.e., not a baby or child—you should not be drinking milk.
It's Barf Time: Coca Cola Plans to Introduce a New 'Premium Milk'
Stand by for the most disgusting beverage-related news since the invention of green juice: Coca Cola apparently plans…
Breast Milk Butter Is the Sweetest, Creamiest Thing You've Ever Tasted
If you've always wanted to make butter from human breast milk, but don't know how, the internet is pleased to provide…
Reasons to Hate Alternative Milks and the Smug Jerks Who Love Them
I am an asshole. I liked the band Arcade Fire immediately, I only drink pour-over coffee, and once I said that small…
This Milk Commercial Is the Most Pornographic Jizz-Fest I've Ever Seen
So, I was just bopping through my typical morning routine today, hate-reading the Daily Mail and watching Corey Feldman…
Milk Is Great for Your Joints, and Cheese Is Destroying Them
When I was a kid, it was all about milk. "Set the table! Wash your hands! Milk or water?" was the refrain at every…
The Dairy Biz Chucks 'Got Milk' in Favor of 'Milk Life'
It seems the American dairy industry recently pulled the famous "Got Milk" campaign from the back of the fridge, took a…
Whole Milk and Butter Make People Skinny Now, Says Science
Milk drinking isn't a hobby for everyone — only those of us with enough enzymes can indulge in the sweet, delicious…
Raw Milk Possibly Dangerous for Kids and Preggos
The American Academy of Pediatrics has issued a report this week advising that kids, babies, and pregnant ladies not…
Extremely Tolerant Milk Dog Lets Goats Shake It Down for Dairy
First thing to mention about this vaguely pornographic video of young goats drinking milk from two giant bottles…
Government Org Photoshops Little Girl, Makes Her Fat to Fight Obesity
This unsettling ad campaign for First 5, a government-run "healthy kids" program, depicts a heavily (literally)…
Good Morning! Enjoy a Carton of Cereal-Flavored Milk
Cereal is awesome, isn't it? Well, except for all that chewing and sogginess, cereal is pretty awesome, but, jeez,…
Skim Milk Doesn't Prevent Childhood Obesity, Isn't Great for Weight-Loss and Is Basically Water
Good news for everybody out there who hates the white water: skim and low-fat milks aren't as awesome for weight-loss…