If you're heading home for the holidays and are worried that your parents might be lying in wait to interrogate you about why you've chosen to die alone, they have a new weapon in their arsenal: Michael Lohan is married to Kate Major. Michael Lohan has found love. How are you worse than Michael Lohan?

Just two episodes into Lindsay it's apparent that the troubled actress needed the OWN reality series for more than just to relaunch her career. She's seemingly flat broke and the production company behind her show had to come through with checks for her rent, security deposit and broker's fee. The money was an…

There was absolutely nothing good about the announcement that certified awful person George Zimmerman (no celebrity bold for you!) would appear on an episode of Celebrity Boxing to square off against rapper DMX (on what would have been Trayvon Martin's 19th birthday, no less). This news was actually so not good that…

Gina Rodriguez isn’t a regular publicist who works to secure a spot for their client on the Today show or tries to get a New York Times mention for a new book. The clients she holds onto through her family-only business GR Media include Sydney Leathers, Tan Mom, Simon Van Kempen and Alex McCord from RHONY, Sheree and…

I mean, fair enough, Kate Gosselin. Fair enough. In case you missed it, last weekend Jon Gosselin caught a paparazza sneaking about his Grizzly Adams mountain cabin, so he grabbed a gun and fired a "warning shot" (and, one hopes, yelled, "GIT, YE FILTHY VARMINT! SCRAM! SKEDADDLE!" and then Hammer-shuffled out of the…

In the aftermath of Robin-Thicke-Touched-That-One-Lady's-Butt-Gate, Thicke and wife Paula Patton are really laying it on THICK (!!!!) about the awesome power of their epic romahnce. In today's installment, Thicke says he'd be deceased without Patton's many rock-like qualities.

Did you for one second think that we didn't live in a bizarro circus world where the less-famous parents of very famous people go on television to accuse each other of exhibiting violent behavior and being addicted to cocaine? Well, that's your mistake because as it turns out, that is the exact bizarro circus world…

Neither Beyoncé or Solange showed up at Matthew Knowles' wedding to their new Stepmomcé Gena Avery in Houston, Texas. " "Unfortunately, Beyonce and Solange had previous engagements which made it impossible for them to attend," said the newly-wedded Knowles. There should be a reality show in which family therapists…

News has emerged that Philip Seymour Hoffman just got out of detox last Friday after a 10-day stay to kick an addiction that started with prescription drugs and culminated in snorting heroin.

Today in smart decisions that actors make, Matthew McConaughey, long known for going big or going home (to play shirtless bongos) lost close to 50 damn pounds to play a dying AIDS patient in his new film Dallas Buyers Club. Weight wasn't the only thing McConaughey lost — apparently his vision started to go out, too.

In today's edition of Tweet Beat, former LiLo luvah Samantha Ronson implores Michael Lohan to put a cap on it, Boy George tells us what tickles his fancy, and Russell Simmons acts as Twitter's bikram yoga instructor.

Is Beyoncé pregnant? Is Beyoncé pregnant? Is Beyoncé pregnant? Is Beyoncé pregnant? — The sound and the fury of the Internet, signifying nothing except not minding its own beeswax. (Also, I bet Beyoncé's not pregnant.)

After three years of dating, Vampire Diaries' onscreen and real-life couple Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder have broken up. But TV's low-key equivalent of K-Stew and R-Patz will stay civil on the show because — quoth a source — they're "consummate professionals," and "will continue to work together and remain best…

Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes are trying to sell a sitcom based on their life together. Various sources say: "They would play versions of themselves, kind of like on Curb Your Enthusiasm. [...] "They've met with a few networks.. Nothing is finalized yet, but they're seeing where the show could go."

God, Stephen Colbert is such a NONSTOP TREASURE, right? Speaking on CNN, he said that his right-wing nutjob TV persona will in no way interfere with sister Elizabeth Colbert Busch's Democratic congressional run. ADORABLE, I SAY.

Yesterday afternoon Chris Brown wrecked his Porsche after being chased down by the rabid paparazzi on the way to a charity event, according to the Beverly Hills Police Department. Brown's PR rep (#2 most thankless job after "professional human shit shoveler") explained how it happened:

Right around the moment Dakota Fanning made out with Kristen Stewart-as-Joan Jett in The Runaways, you may have realized that she's segued from her super-driven, super-child-actressy days (see: Amy Poehler's SNL sendup) to her eyeliner-skinny jeans-posing-for-Marc Jacobs-ads-going-to-Coachella period. But the Kote's…

Nothing gold can stay, including Taylor Swift and Harry Styles' brief foray into exclusivity. New reports claim that Haylor has ended their 65-day-and-one-Press Baby relationship after a disastrous New Year's Eve in the British Virgin Islands. As the Daily Mail quaintly puts it, the two "had an almighty row," after…

The MTV Movie Awards have finally figured out what it will take to get us to watch the MTV Movie Awards: they have announced that Rebel Wilson will be hosting this year's ceremony on April 14th, the first female host since Sarah Silverman in 2007, and a damn good choice at that. However, it being MTV, here is the…