The geniuses over at The Onion have done it again.

Earlier this month, Lupita Nyong'o landed a contract with Lancome; today British model Jourdan Dunn has signed a deal to be the spokeswoman for Maybelline. Great advancements for women of color in the beauty industry — and for consumers.

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. Thus we're introducing Worth It, a daily…

Britain's Advertising Standards Authority has banned two ads featuring Julia Roberts and Christy Turlington for misleading consumers by being overly airbrushed. It had to come to its conclusion without before-and-after shots, since apparently Roberts has stipulated in her contract that no unairbrushed shots can be…

Why does Maybelline's new commercial feature the theme from Magnum, P.I.? Because 18 to 34-year-old women love music from 20-year-old crime shows! For those who didn't spend the '80s lusting after Tom Selleck, check out the reboot and the original.

The Sassybella blog has some great vintage commercials today: Maybelline's Dial-A-Lash mascara spot from 1982, and a 1970s Maybelline Waterbourne eye shadow ad. Dial-A-Lash mascara would excite gadget geeks: it was the only "adjustable mascara" with ten settings. "Dial it low for a light coat," the model explains.…